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How do you cope with your stepchildren when you and your spouse have different paranting styles?

I am a believer in accountability and consequences. My children are very well behaved because they know there will be consequences if they don't. My stepchildren don't behave because they know that the only thing their dad will do is yell at them and make threats that he doesn't follow through on. He never punishes bad behavior.

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Asked by maangell1 at 8:27 AM on Apr. 7, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 3 (14 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • You need to sit down and have a talk . You need to be united on this. At a minimum keep up what you do with your kids. You might look at/browse some books in a good book store regarding this for ideas.

    Answer by elizabr at 8:30 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • All the children in the house should be treated the same with the same rule and consequences. You and your husband need to sit down and get on the same page or there will be problems! (I grew up in a blended family)

    Answer by missanc at 8:31 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I agree with everyone above because i have seen this issue destroy marraiges. Even 25 yr marriages!

    Answer by harris4 at 8:35 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • i have the same problem only with him overpunishing and i am the on since i am a SAHM that has to follow thru with it all and i if i go back behind him and fix it it makes me look like the push over. I have told him numerous times that the punishment has to fit the crime and you can't make it something oulandish that i ultimately have to be punished for. EX: he tells them they have to stay in their bed all day then i have to make sure they doit while he goes off to work. we have had i don't know how many discussions on this and he doesn't seem to undertand at all. And we have a mixed family i have two children and he has two children as well

    Answer by amberpaiz at 8:38 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I am having a similiar situation. My husband and I have 2 kids together and he has 2 from a previous relationship. I am a SAHM so I do most of the disciplining with our 2. But I dont feel it is my place to discipline his kids when they are with us. I dont care to take care of them or anything, but I feel he should step up and take more responsibility. His children dont much like me because I have to be the "mean" one (as they call me). And that bothers me. We have had many discussions about the situation and it doesnt seem to help. But you definitely need to agree on the discipline whether it is gonna be him doing it or you.

    Answer by tasha_32906 at 8:44 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

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