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3 Bumps

Has any stepmoms gotten a weird feeling when the stepkids come over to their house?

Lately, I have been getting a weird feeling when the stepkids come over, I used to be ecstatic when they came over I used to throw parties and such, for the last 3 months it's been ( yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever). I just feel as though I am just tolerating them now. What is going on?

Answer Question

Asked by Lynnda at 9:18 AM on Apr. 7, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 6 (111 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Perhaps the "newness" has worn off with you. Maybe they arnt the appreciative little darlings you once thought they were?

    Answer by vbruno at 9:54 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • They are not your kids. So your feelings are understandable.

    Answer by MMXI at 10:02 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • Whew, okay I thought I was abnormal for having these feelings. When the stepkids do come over I just want to stay in my room and keep occupied with something else. I even avoid DH when they visit.

    Comment by Lynnda (original poster) at 10:18 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • How long have you been a step parent? It's it's been a long time and they're approaching teen years, then it may be due to that.

    If that's not the case, they could possibly be getting negative comments about you from their mother. If the kids go back having so much fun then often the mom starts knocking it due to jealousy that they're having more fun with you than with her. Something has made them change and that could be it. As much as you want to go in your room, try not to because they will see that their behavior is "working". Don't tolerate what you aren't comfortable with in their behavior. But realize that they may be caught in the middle of something they don't want to be in. Try to see what's going on because you have years ahead of them in your life. If you've had a bad 3 months, you can choose to work to put an end to it or tolerate it for years ahead. I wish you the best!

    Answer by AlisonAstair at 11:04 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I've been their SM since 2006, SD is now 14 and doesn't want to come over at all anymore. It is even being passed on to SS10. They have missed the other kids birthday parties because they want to stay at their moms house and do whatever they want. Ever since they have been skipping weekends with us, I honestly feel as though they are strangers to me. SD was supposed to spend her birthday on DH weekend, she skips it just to go to a lock in at a roller skating rink. The lock in has been her spot to go to when she skips weekends with us. We only get to see SD and SS 7% of the time in a year, and they both have choosen to go to a lock in's all the time. SD has even told SS to skip weekends with us. DH has tries talking to BM about all the skipped weekends and BM takes SD's side. I just hate the manipulative people the SD and SS have become. They come to our home and use us, when BM and SD don't let them have their way.

    Comment by Lynnda (original poster) at 11:42 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

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