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Do you think im being selfish?(sort of a rant)

today is my birthday. my dh got let go 3 wks ago, and as a result, we are extremely behind on our bills. all of the money i have gotten for my birthday, i have paid bills with.

the kicker is that dh was working for my dad!!!!!! my dh was unhappy and let my dad know he was seriously looking for a job and that dh would give him ample notice before accepting alternate work. the next day, my dad said there was no work. dh asked the following day if there was work, ect. ect.

i am so hurt and upset w. my dad. he and his wife called today to wish me a happy b-day and to talk to my kids.

how can they care about my kids if they just let dh go like that?

p.s. they shorted dh's last pay check too about 200 hundred dollars. dh called my dad and dad said "your lucky you got anything." im pretty sure it was because we were getting our taxes the friday of the week they let him go.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:20 AM on Apr. 7, 2011 in Money & Work

Answers (8)
  • No...luck has nothing to do with whether or not you get paid. It is being compensated for the time you worked! He CANNOT withhold your dh's earnings. It is a sticky situation because it is your father, and it is shameful that a grown man with adult children can't behave better than that.

    If you mean you were getting your tax refund soon, then I guess thank god for that much! Hopefully he will be able to find something soon, and not having it involve family will be "cleaner" if he needs to quit or has trouble in the future.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 9:36 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • SIL or not if he worked for me and said he was unhappy and looking for another job, Id have fired him on the spot to. You Just DONT say things like that to the boss who signs your paycheck. NEVER. Try collecting unemployment while he looks for another job. Sounds to me like your Dad didnt really like your hubby to begin with if he would treat him like that knowing your kid's (his grandkids) rely on Dads check to feed and house them.

    Answer by vbruno at 9:58 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I think your dad was definitely in the wrong, but why on Earth would your DH say that to him? I would have just waited until I found another job, at least!

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 10:38 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • You aren't being selfish. It is completely unprofessional for someone to fire a employee because the employee is looking for other work. The country is in a recession, there is no way I would easily forgive my father for firing my husband with no notice.
    Was there any worker contract? If there was no contract then your father can't be held to paying your DH what he is owed. If there was a contract you can always say "pay or I'll have to take you to court". Often a parent doesn't want to realize that their children have their own lives and if the parent's feelings are hurt they can't take things away without consequences. You have to figure out if you rely on your parents in this way. If you don't then there is no way I would let them further talk or have any contact with your children. There is no telling what they might try to teach your kids about your DH. It all depends on how much your family depends on your parents.

    Answer by blainesgirl at 11:33 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • To wish you a happy birthday AND talk to your kids! I would have said thank you and hung up. Just about that fast. They would know that I was not happy with them. No pretending eveything is all nicey nicey. Your dad owe's your husband whatever he owes him. Your husband should have kept his mouth shut, but it was actually nice of him to give your dad extra warning since unlike a regular empolyer they should have been able to have a continuing relationship. Now I'm not so sure. I wouldn't speak to him again until he pays what he owes for work that was done.

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 1:50 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • happy birthday that being said in this economy life is unfortunatly going to suck not just for you but for all of us. You're an adult now not a child who needs a gift or expects one. When this happens to me i just bake myself a cake and decorate it and we watch a movie at home as a family from our dvd collection. That being said your dh made a big mistake telling your dad he's looking for other work I would have found another job 1st and then given him my notice that way it's quiting not being fired. Your dad however has no right to hold his check it's illegal he has to pay him for his time reguardless of the situation. I would call my dad and tell him you need that $200 to feed ur family if he still refuses i wouldn't have a relationship w him at all until he pays up. But it is ur dh's fault too he should have not said one word until he actually found other employment your dad is just pissed

    Answer by chica679 at 11:13 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • he quit he'll get over it soon enough and you'll get ur money.

    Answer by chica679 at 11:13 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • your spouse should file a claim with the state department of labor, and get that $200.

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:55 PM on Apr. 9, 2011

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