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What do i do

im a 56 yr old grandma . right at the present time i have y 29 year old daughter living with me she has two sons ages 4 and 3mos. we have been arguing like crazy since she had her last child. this one is more demanding than her first. this one will cry at the drop of a hat ,wants to be held all the time. nether one of us is getting any sleep. the babys father comes to see him but its few and far between. we both would like it if he stayed the night more. we both feel ove whelmed. what can i do i feel these are her kids and sh e should take care of them but at the same time i worry because the oldest son simetimes i feel gets short changed because everyone is focused on the baby . i love both my grandsons deeply and my daughter to . i try to spend extra time with the older one by taking him to the park or other things. i known my daughter loves her kids but her life has changed so much.

 
stressedoutgran

Asked by stressedoutgran at 9:23 AM on Apr. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 15 (2,324 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • You sound like a really awesome grandma! I commend you for doing so much for your daughter and the grandkids. I think trying to spend some extra time with the 4 year old is great, but maybe you could keep the baby sometimes and let the mother do something special with him so he has some mommy time - even if all of you go to the playground together, but you hold the baby while she plays with him.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:43 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I don't think you have any choice other than to try to see to it that these children have as stable a life as is possible. I would not be encouraging the father to stay the nights more since that would greatly increase the risks of your daughter having yet another child for you to raise. I would be encouraging her to stop having sex until such time as she was a married woman and able to provide a home for her children without having to impose on her mother. In fact, if she were living with me, that would be one qualification for her staying there. She would have to change her current lifestyle. Were it not for the children, I would throw her out, even if it meant she had to live on the street. The children have to be your primary concern, but you can make rules for her and you can enforce them. It's your home! She is a guest there! Buy yourself some earplugs, and let her get up during the night. It's not your duty!!!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:44 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • i do do that. i missed a key shes 20. i just wished the father would stay over more so we both could get some sleep. both her kids are awesome. the oldsest doest see his dad to often and hes getting ready to go into the military so it s going to be reallyl ess often.we right now trade off.
    stressedoutgran

    Comment by stressedoutgran (original poster) at 9:49 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • You sound like a great mom/grandma =] Your daughter is lucky to have your help! I'd tell your daughter that she needs to tell the BD to help out more. Good luck =]
    jspenny2705

    Answer by jspenny2705 at 9:56 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • they havent had sex. the reason being is he coud help. he has 6 cats at his house so taking a newborn baby over there where he could be sratched or is allergic isnt an option. they are his roomates cats. they arent very well taken care of. mostly they are both inside/ outside no vaccaines. if were both exhausted what do you do. my main concern is that the kids are well taken care of,happy, well rounded. if it werent for the kids she would have been kicked out.
    stressedoutgran

    Comment by stressedoutgran (original poster) at 9:59 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • let me get something sraight i would never for any reason kick one of my kids out NO matter how hard it gets. i love my kids very much and they can drive me crazy but i love and support them. if my husband were a live maybe it would be a little easier. i would have someone to lean on.
    stressedoutgran

    Comment by stressedoutgran (original poster) at 10:23 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • Wow- what a great grandma! Kudos to you for that. Not many would be willing to do those things! I would hold the baby for a bit sometimes so Mom can spend time with the older child. Seems small, but will probably work wonders! HTH :)
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 10:33 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

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