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What do I do here?(long)

OK , My best friend, we'll call her "Jane", is engaged to this guy we will call him "brad". Brad and I went to school together. Freshman year he asked me to homecoming. I assumed he thought we were going as friends. I, being stupid, hadn't seen itanyother way at the time. But my best friend at the time "sally'(who was older) had her baby the night before homecoming and I forgot all about it. I even forgot to call Brad. We ll Brad and I stopped talking. He wouldn't even let me exsplain.

Brad and Jane met 5years ago. Brad wouldn't even come around or talk to me until 2 yrs ago. He still held a grudge. He has a 2yr old with Jane now and even though they have broken up a few times plan to get married sometime in the future. She has a ring but they haven't set a date.

So Brad came to my house yesterday with Jane and the kids. She has a child from a previous relationship. He was quiet the most of the time. We have been around each other before but most of the time he goes hang out with the guys and kind of avoids talking to me to much. But yesterday he kind of had to. But there were a few things that make me wonder if he still has a "thing" for me. I don't know if I'm over reading things?

He asked for a glass of water and then followed me to the kitchen to get it. He then stood right behind me. Even reaching around me to close the cubbard door. Then I deffinatly caught him taking a paek at my chest. Which happens all the time cuse I have big ones even in a tee. My child had put a blanket right in front of him at the table so when I reached over to move it out of his way he flinched.

Anyways on top of that I think DH is worried about Brad too. He was polite when he got home and Brad and Jane were there.T his was the first time he had met Brad but he knows jane very well. He also knows the story from high school.When brad left,DH asked me if I thought brad was attractive. I told him no. If I had thought he was I would have realized homecoming was more than a "just friends" thing. Which isn't totally true, I do think Brad is attractive physically but he's not my type. He doesn't keep a job and his personallity just isn't right for me. And even physically compared to my husband he's a 2 :) at least to me.

i knew if I said that to DH he would have become more insecure. He's always afriad i'm going to leave him. i think it stems from coming from a devorced home but that's another story.

So I guess my questions are...
Am I reading into brad to much or am I right? If I am what do I do?
What I do for DH to make understand i don't want Brad?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:09 AM on Apr. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Sorry about all the typos and misspellings. I was typing really fast.

    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:16 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • If your hubby got vibes from 'Brad', then no, you aren't reading into it, you nailed it.
    And, from the sounds of it, I'd say so anyway.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 10:17 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • Oh, what do you do? Nothing right now, unless it makes you uncomfortable. Nothing except keep your distance as it's making your hubby uncomfortable.
    If 'Brad' makes the moves, he's got a groin that typically won't play well with a knee.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 10:18 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • So what do I do? Jane is my best friend. We see each other all the time and I don't know what to do. Her first childs father tried to get me to sleep with him but we all knew he was a scum bag. I just told her he was a loser. She knew it and eventually stopped trying to make it work. But here, it's diffrent, she loves brad very much.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:19 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • You shouldn't do anything yet. You don't have anything to tell her. He gave you a few looks nothing that proves that he still has feelings for you. If you say something now then you are going to ruin your friendship with "Jane." Unfortunatly you are going to have to wait until he does something else or just stay away from him and if your friend asks you why. Tell her that it is because of the cituation back in highschool and you just don't feel comfortable around him.
    Mom1127-0125

    Answer by Mom1127-0125 at 10:32 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • Maybe try to avoid being alone with him and only hang out with him as little as you can. Don't let your uncomfortableness show or people will think you have feelings for him. If Brad does something inappropriate again, call him on it and tell him not to do it again. Reassure your husband in whatever way he needs.
    Kari727

    Answer by Kari727 at 10:38 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • Yeah I def don't want anyone thinking I still have felings for him. I already have a hard time because of her first baby's father telling people I did sleep with him. Which didn't happen, she knows this but if someone says something about it this time it may break up our friendship.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:42 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • Sounds to me he still has a thing, but you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. think less is more. To drop the conversation with your husband unless he brings it up. If you over defend yourself it might look like you're trying to hard. I would maybe do something a little special for DH and if he asks why, say something along the lines, I just wanted to remind you how much you mean to me, and you're the ONE for me. Idk that's what I would do.
    Pamarita

    Answer by Pamarita at 12:23 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I think doing something special for him would be a good idea, thanks Pamarita.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:37 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

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