Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why can't coerced adoptions be undone?

Why can't an adoption be undone if it is coerced? If an agency doesn't talk about public assistance and just pushes adoption, it is fraud. Why aren't judges overturning adoptions left and right? Are the judges in on it?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Apr. 7, 2011 in Adoption

Answers (13)
  • I am not sure, but for me it would depend on how long the child has been with the adoptive parents, I Don't know how often this happens, but I think you could do alot of damage to the child if the adoption was overturned after a certain point.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:02 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • It sounds like you had a bad expirience and for that I am deeply sorry. Your social worker should have served you better, but it isn't fraud. The reason things are not turned over is because everything was signed legally. Even if you were pushed by your parents, social worker, friends, adoptive parents, and the judge...you still could have said no. I do wish you the very best. I cannot imagine what you are going through.
    ochsamom

    Answer by ochsamom at 11:05 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • They arnt in on anything. It difficult at best to prove coercion especially where adoption is concerned. How can any preggo woman say after the fact that she was forced to give the baby up and get anyone to believe she was coerced. The paperwork even states that the adoption can not be undone and the mom signs the paperwork.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 11:06 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • Because it is the parent's responsibility to find out their own option. If they are already talking to an agency then they are assumed to be leaning in that direction anyway.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 11:07 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • If a parent can prove that the adoption was illegal and coercion was used in some way it is my understanding an adoption can be contested and the issue revisited.  It can not come down to your word against mine.  I believe there needs to be evidence to present to a judge there was coercion and the parent was forced to place her child, against her will, with an adoptive family because if she did not then there would be negative consequences for that parent.  There is this perception out there that public assistance is the answer for all women and children having difficulty.  I am supportive of any parent who wants to raise and parent their child and encourage investigating public assistance.  I walk down the hall and introduce a woman to the Medicaid employee/case manager in my office.  Many women do not qualify for services.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:14 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • There is a waiting period before the adoption becomes final. It's usually between 3-6 months depending on the state and circumstances. During that time, the bio parent CAN change their mind about the adoption.
    meriana

    Answer by meriana at 11:15 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • We think they should but in reality they do not. I would love more assistance available. It is not the case worker lying to woman. There is not some mass conspiracy. Some of the nurses, doctors, and nurse practitioners question why certain patients do not qualify. And then I find out the reason and double check. Help out there is very narrow and when women do get the assistance of food stamps, day care vouchers, Medicaid, and a few other forms of assistance.....they find out, after doing some calculations, it is by far not enough. I agree agencies need to continue to offer and explore all options. But to assume public assistance is the answer to keep women and their children together is a bit naive in thinking and in reality.  Family support, educational opportunites, more community resources...there is so much more needed.  Some people are lucky to have that.  Many are not.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:18 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • If an agency doesn't talk about public assistance and just pushes adoption, it is fraud.


    I am sure I'll be the mean, hateful one here BUT, it is not an ADOPTION agency's job to explain public assistance. You go into an agency because you want to place your child for adoption. If you want other options than go to social services. NTM, most PA will not be enough to care for a child and you can't stay on it forever. Vote down, if you want. :)

    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 11:26 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • Actually Matthewscandi you are just flat out wrong. There is this thing called ethics and legal obligations. They are required to explore options and to discuss if the parents have considered or know of additional options. It is part of just being ethical and doing what is right. I could loose my license to practice, I could be sued, if I don't explore "within reason" (which is what the law actually states) the options available.  It doesn't mean I don't support parents' choices.  I do.  But you allow that individual to make the choices that are best for them.  I connect women and families with additional resources that I know of.  I make an effort, and document those efforts, I attempted to explore options available.  Because we call it adoption "counseling" a person who is in the postion of providing counsel also provides information.  That is what is fair.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:43 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • You can't assume all women walking into an agency wants to place her child. Some parents force their child, through threats and intimidation, to speak to agencies and make no other option other than adoption available for their child. This is a huge concern. An agency has the obligation this person before them is not threatend in any way. Not by a boyfriend, husband, family member....very important. It is very important to explore the reasons in a compassionate and realistic manner. I am an odd bird in this forum because I am fiercely protective of adoptive parents and their choices but I am also protective of choices birth parents make. Once a person makes an informed decision it does not mean they made a wrong decision. It means they made the best choice for them. But first information is a requirement. Real information. Not bullshit information based off of some opinion you have but real concrete stuff.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:11 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.