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What to do about neighbors?

ok this is probably gonna be long so bear with me. when i first moved on post i had two women right off the bat come and introduce themselves to me and kinda give me the lay of the land. the one seemed kinda quiet but the other went on and on about basically everyone on the block their names their kids names what kinda car they drove and so on and so on but she basically was trying to steer me away from these two perticular girls saying that she didn't want to talk bad about them or anything but she totally was. Anyway so i told her that i am the type of person that likes to make up my own mind and i would judge for myself wether or not i wanted to be friends with them. So when my kids started school i noticed that the moms were kinda devided the first two girls that i mentioned stood on one side of the street and the other girls she was telling me about on the other. Ok trying to make this not long to sum up i ended up talking to the girls that she warned me about and it seemed like we had alot more in common so we hung out like everymorning and got reaelly close. Well here just recently after one of the girls came back from a family vacation i noticed that the girl that was talking all this shit about the other girl are now acting like best buds and excluding me from everything. In fact last night i went over to the girls house and there's the first one and a whole bunch of the rest of the neighborhood having a BBQ!! this really hurt my feelings and i just left b/c i knew i was gonna cry. I ALWAYS invite all of them to anything that is going on in my house or in the community backyard that we all share and for some reason i feel phased out and i have done nothing wrong!! part of me wants to be like fuck you then i don't need friends like you but it seems like those two are getting everyone else to not want to hang out with me. What should i do? Sorry so long.....oh yeah and i wanted to mention one more thing i did bring this up to them when this first started and they acted like i was crazy and they weren't really doing it onpurpose but this BBBQ thing is not the first time they have done this it has been going on for a while

 
amberpaiz

Asked by amberpaiz at 11:37 AM on Apr. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 24 (18,644 Credits)
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Answers (20)
  • I have been there I used to live in this small townhouse neighborhood and all the moms would sit around every evening and talk and what not and their kids always played together, I was the one left out. No matter what was going on I was left out. I even tried to approach the group one evening and just say "hi" and suddenly everyone decided they needed to go in a watch some TV... It did hurt and I would try to mind my own business. But it is hard to do! I don't really have any good advice because in a situation like this there isn't anything you can do but just move on and go about your daily routine.
    Even after you leave high school but sometimes high school follows us and we just have to mind our own lives until you move.
    togo90210

    Answer by togo90210 at 12:52 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • This is why I don't like having neighbors. lol All the drama. I'd take it as a sign that neither woman is really a good friend, and go find someone else to be friends with.
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 11:57 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I have found the best thing to do in a situation like this is to stop giving the other people the power over me. You make friends with some of the other, NICER, people. You invite THEM over to do something, not the mean (immature) girls. You don't say anything about it, you are polite in all situations, and if they do try to drag you in, you do not engage, you just walk away. If it's a one on one situation, you can tell them what you think, but only if they ask you about how YOU feel. Don't give them the power over you. You are a woman, not some little girl who needs to be liked.
    JawgaMom1

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 2:42 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • Oh jeez are they 12!!!
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 11:43 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I think you should take this as a lesson learned that neither woman is a good fit for you and move on. :)
    Jessica157

    Answer by Jessica157 at 11:44 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • they sure do act it sometimes and it just hurts b/c they are all my surrounding neighbors so i have to see them every morning at the bus stop!!
    amberpaiz

    Comment by amberpaiz (original poster) at 11:45 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • i get it about the moving on but like i said they live all right around me and our kids all wanna play with each other b/c we share a common yard so it's a constant reminder of whats going on. I really wanna act like i dont care and that it doesn't hurt but it does. I kinda feel like that little kid that everyone stares at and talks about on the playground and who no one will go near and it sucks!!
    amberpaiz

    Comment by amberpaiz (original poster) at 11:47 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • and whats worse is that these two girls used to hate each other and talk shit about each other to me and tried to get them to work it out and now i am the odd one out!!!
    amberpaiz

    Comment by amberpaiz (original poster) at 11:48 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • first thing is first get it over with and just again go up to them and tell them how you feel and maken u feel left out for no reason at all. least they could give u a reason. thats all i would ask for. or throw a bbq and tell them u are more then welcome to come if u like. thats it and walk away. sometimes if u show it bothers u they keep it going. so 2 choices confront and ask or walk away. sadly to say even in adult life its like being in high school all over again. it never seems to end. my sd's school moms were like that. everyone of them had a group. i was only a sm so i was alone and treated like a loner even when i tried to smile at them to show hey im a good person. i got looks and the wispers..needless to say my sd was invited to one of there houses for a end of school bbq i went for my sd. i was misrable but to see my sd happy was good. i sat alone and offerd to help but got nothing. its hard sometimes. best of luck
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 11:49 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • thank you for the advice i think i will give it one more try and then be done with it and just let my kids play with them and thats that. B/c the kids seem to get along pretty well and i would hate to be the parent that taught my children their childish behavior
    amberpaiz

    Comment by amberpaiz (original poster) at 11:56 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

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