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2 Bumps

Feeling left out!

My daughter whom is 3 is literally attached to my mother lately! We moved a couple of weeks next door to my parents (thats right they own sevearl apartment complexs so myself, plus two sisters & my parents all live in the complex) & my daughter seriously cant get enough of my mother!

When we are at their apartment she is literally attached to her & wont share my mother with the other kids! I cant believe that I have to theatern her with time out for not sharing the grandmother lol Last night we went over to say good night as we do some nights of the week & she refused to leave it was 8:30pm at night when I decided to pull her off of my mother & carry through the parking lot to our apartment! My sister said she couldnt believe the screaming she heard my child make as we walked past her place!

I'm fine with her being all attached but today or just now I wanted to paint easter eggs with her. My daughter who usually loves to do crafts did a hack job on those eggs & was done in less then 5minutes. She then wanted to eat some lunch & now is relaxing from playing outside & with my mother all morning =( I know its a stage being this obsessed with her grandmother but still.

Like I said we just moved a couple of weeks ago before we were 3hours away from here. I have always been the center of my daughters world & a stay at home mom with her. I feel like I'm totally second in her eyes (which again is fine b/c I know I am her mom & I want her to be close to my mom too) but I still feel a bit left out =( She will go to my moms place take my mom into the playroom then tell me I'm not allowed & slam the door, any time we are around my mom she goes to her for everything just walks right past me =(

Alright rant is over haha she will get over this & I will get used to it! Just been 3 years of me being her everything & suddenly I feel like I'm not so much anymore. Its good though for her to have the bonds she does with all of her family that is why we moved here to be closer & make those bonds stronger so I shouldnt complain right!?

 
Mel30248

Asked by Mel30248 at 12:42 PM on Apr. 7, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 26 (25,898 Credits)
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Answers (8)
  • Hugs Mama. I know that feeling . . . it is similiar to the feeling I got when I weaned, too. It is especiallly hard because when you are a SAHM, your world revolves areound your kids . . . and there is not much else.

    If you could see into your baby girl's heart, you would see you at the center. Her relationship and love for you is what is allowing her to create such a loving relationship with your mom. You have filled her up so well that she will be able to have many loving, close relationships. That is one of the most important thing than a mom could do, and you are a STAR!!!!! :)

    Your mom won't be here forever, but the bond that a child can have with a grandparent is one that is so special it will last a lifetime. You are giving her such a gift by allowing that closeness. . . . such a gift . . . .

    Try to remind yourself that there is no replacement for the place you have in her heart. You are a one and only.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 12:55 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I think its just bc g'ma is there closer now. I'm sure it will wear off just like any good toy does. Take this time to spend on yourself. She'll be back and you will be back on top again.
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 12:47 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I know that feeling of hurt your talking about. When I went in the hospital for 4 days to have the youngest, our then 19 month old daughter wouldnt have anything to do with me for a while. It was like she was mad at me or something. Before then, she would always cling to me and I was her "favorite",lol...so it did hurt a little that she clung to daddy instead.It wore off after a while and she "decided" to love me again,lol...
    I think it just goes with change...I guess kiddos tend to handle it differently than we do. I say, just give it time...
    Good Luck and hang in there mama :)
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 12:52 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • Limit the time they spend together a little so she knows she can't throw a fit and get her way all of the time. Being close is wonderful but throwing tantrums is probably not a good thing and its easier to break habits when they first form then to wait until it is out of control. GL

    thecoffeefairy

    Answer by thecoffeefairy at 12:47 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • When my 3 yr old is around my dad...noone else matters! They are two peas in a pod and I'm just happy she has her time with him :)
    monshine2

    Answer by monshine2 at 12:58 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I can see why you feel left out, I would also I think.  However slamming the door and being rude and disrespectful would absolutely not be tolerated.  I agree, grandma is like a new toy, it will fade.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 12:53 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • Its just new to her is all. She may not understand you arent just visiting and wants as much grandma time as she can get. Maybe reinforce to your dd that you arent going back to where you were before and that this is not a temporary thing.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 12:58 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • Grandma won't be so new pretty soon and I bet if something really bad happened like if she fell and scraped her knee, she'd want you. If not, then maybe let your mom watch her for a while and see how long it takes for her to be scolded by your mom... then she won't be such a fan. ha ha
    ACL2007

    Answer by ACL2007 at 1:05 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

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