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2 Bumps

Poeple always say 'I'm glad I had sex or I wouldn't have my baby that I love so much'...

or I'm not sorry I slept with that jerk because he gave me my baby. Or I am glad I had sex young because I had my precious child... yadda yadda yadda...

My question is: Isn't that a cop out answer? I mean if you never had sex you wouldn't know what you were missing baby wise and to say if you had had a baby with a different person you wouldn't have the same child... well, yeah but you wouldn't have another child to compare it to. See where I am going? What do you think.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:35 PM on Apr. 7, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Yes, cop out answer. We ALL love our kids... and can not imagine life with out them. But Im sure if they were honest they would tell you that they rather have grown up, had a NORMAL high school experience, gone to college, and been a settled adult and THEN had this beautiful child.

    BUT since they wouldnt have had that exact child had they done it all in the proper order.... it almost feels mean to say they wish they had done it that way... almost like a negative toward that child.  But it isnt.

    And the fact of the mater is... you can not change the past.  It is what it is... so maybe it is a way to deal with what is.

    And the most important thing... is that they are good parents NOW... no matter how they became parents.


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • My husband and I were just having this conversation the other night.  Well, something similar.  When I had my 1st daughter I wanted to be done because I had a boy and a girl and thought it was perfect.  Then I got pregnant again and it was like wow I can't even imagine her not being here, I'm so happy I had her.  Well, if I had never gotten pregnant again then I wouldn't KNOW her.  But now that I do, I wouldn't want it any other way.  Maybe that's what people are saying.


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 2:39 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I'm not going to lie if I had to do it all over again I would not had gotten pregnant when I was 17. That does not mean that I don't love my daughter because I do very much and I cannot imagine my life without her but I do wish I could have gone to college, and traveled and then settled down and had my daughter. I'm not glad about how my teenage years went down but I am glad that I have a daughter because regardless college and traveling will always be there but a child is wonderful and truly priceless.

    Answer by GomezMami2908 at 2:50 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • Why does it need to be a "cop out" for anything? What's wrong with having sex? I never understood this idea that you need to regret actions simply because you don't have a perfect life... Whether or not a child came out of a relationship or if the guy is a jerk or not... As long as she chose to have sex to make herself happy, the rest really doesn't matter. Sex is meant to be enjoyed... Enjoy it! Nothing to "cop out" of, unless of course it's wrong to enjoy life...

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 2:53 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I think GomezMami pretty much summed it up. I think what people are trying to say is that they wouldn't give up their child to do it all over again, or they don't wish their child was never born. But if they are being honest I am sure most people who get pregnant at a young age wish they had more time before being a parent, and if most women were given the choice of having a loving father for their child they would choose that over a dead beat dad. I think people say this to point out the silver lining or to say that the situation may not have been the best but the child is still wanted and loved.

    Answer by MaryMW at 2:55 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • Hmmm, weird...and you do have your own kids, right?

    Answer by yesmaam at 2:49 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I've never heard anyone say such a thing. I must hang out with the wrong crowd.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:46 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I really just think it means that even if something happens that seems unfortunate at the time, many times something good can come from it. I don't think it's a cop out answer, but it's more of accepting what has happened and making the best of it.

    Answer by MommaKath1975 at 2:54 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I just think it's a way of saying you are happy with the outcome of the situation. I have a gorgeous daughter with a man I cannot stand now & who has ZERO sense of responsibility. I don't regret anything because I have a precious gift from it. Do I wish I finished school, got on with my career & settled down with a worthy man? Sure, but I can still do all those things with her. I'm very happy I have her regardless of the circumstances.

    Answer by Marix3 at 2:59 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I love BOTH of my kids to pieces, but there ARE days here and there when I wish I'd have waited a bit longer before having children. I was 22.5 when my son was born. I had only been dating the father for a couple months. In THAT aspect I regret having kids. But, I DON'T, not for one minute, regret HAVING my kids. They're amazing, smart, loving, wonderful (I could go on) children that enrich my life in so many ways.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 3:03 PM on Apr. 7, 2011