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2 Bumps

What would you do?

9 years I have been married to my husband. I love him with my whole heart. But for him SEX just isn't important. I have spent times where through out our marraige I have had to cry, beg, plead.. and still he has no care to help me find sexual furfillment.

I am so hurt that frequently his desire to sleep.. is more important than anything else. He will often sleep at night, have a nap or even two on occasion during the day.. Yet that still is more of a priority!

I am tired. I am tired of my needs not being met. I am tired of it not bothering him.. and not mattering. I have told him multiple times that I personally fight a battle to not indulge in mastribation(Personally I don't feel it is ok!) Others can do as they choose.. I don't think it is acceptable and always feel guilty if I do pleasure myself.

Now I am not saying he never has sex with me.. but it can be as infrequent as 1 time a month.. and there have even been times where it has gone 3+ months...

WHAT CAN AND SHOULD I DO..
No Divorce is not an option!
No cheating is not an option!

HELP! PLEASE!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Apr. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Maybe he could try an herbal supplement of some kind to jumpstart his labido... I'm sure you can think of a creative way to present the idea without hurting his ego :) GL
    Finkette

    Answer by Finkette at 3:30 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • Viagra? I am sorry your against masturbating,,,,I have no idea how to "jump start" his libido, some people are just wired different than others. Perhaps try a sexy nightie tonight or offer a BJ??
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 3:38 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • My first thought is to suspect that maybe there is a physical reason. Diabetes, high blood pressure, and many medications can interfere with a man's anatomy. I would first want to rule those things out. Also, his sleeping so much could indicate depression and I would want to rule that out, as well. If you approach him out of concern for him rather than from the point of view of your own needs, you might have better luck getting him to see a doctor. Offer to go with him, since he may be afraid of what he will hear. If those things are ruled out, the other thing I would suspect would be some deeply seated hurt or resentment towards you. So, you might search your brain to see if you've ever been guilty of putting him down for any reason at all. Men do have feelings, but they very rarely talk about them. You have to look for clues, and there are several just in what you have posted here.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:40 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • Try serving him foods that naturally boost his libido. Salmon, celery, bananas, avocados, raw oysters, asparagus, figs, nuts, eggs, sweet basil, brown rice, cheese, turkey, and liver to name just a few.
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 3:42 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

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