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5 Bumps

Baby died and Grandma had a stroke. How do I get through this?

In February I had a late miscarriage of a baby boy at 17 weeks. That entire experience was very traumatic for me and I am still struggling with it each day. It also zapped us of our finances because I had to miss a lot of work without pay, and we are still struggling to pay our bills because my hours have recently been cut due to a shortage of available work. My daughter recently broke out in a eczema rash all over her body and we haven't been able to figure out what is causing it. Then Monday, the day before my birthday, my beloved Grandmother had a massive stroke. The doctors estimate she only has about a week left. She has always been there for me, loving me and supporting me and praying for me, especially after I lost my baby. I am in a very dark place right now. I try to pray and suddenly nothing I say comes out right. I try to read my Bible and suddenly nothing makes sense. Where is God? I need him but he seems so far away. I feel so lost and confused and alone. I feel myself sinking into a pit of despair and I don't want that to happen! I fear for my marriage, even though we are close and love each other, I feel like we are in a little boat in the middle of the ocean being tossed by the waves. We are clinging to each other and I don't want to think one of these waves is going to knock us apart but I've seen it happen to other couples. Are there any resources out there to help someone in my position? I desperately need spiritual help.


Asked by Mama2JoshKatie at 4:42 PM on Apr. 7, 2011 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 8 (245 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • May your heart always find peace and comfort in the knowledge that you are never alone. May God's presence ease your spirit and give you rest when you need it. He is ever aware of your circumstances and ready to be your strength, your grace, and your peace. He is there to cast sunlight into all your darkened shadows, to send encouragement through the love of friends and family, and to give you new hope. No grief is too hard for Him to bear. When what you are feeling is simply too deep for words and nothing anyone does or says can provide you with the relief you need, God understands. He is your provider--today, tomorrow, and always. And He loves you.

    Praying for you sis.


    Answer by popzaroo at 12:11 AM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • If you attend a church seek counsel. God is still there. Your dd may have a break out due to the stress of the situation (i break out in massive hives). Honey, the way I view babies and grandparents being in grandma and my aunt are just cuddling and loving the baby i lost...just waiting to meet me at the gates and say "oh lookie here what we have" I wrote this poem(in another answer for space) a few days ago when i was feeling alone. I apologize for the length but maybe it will help you know - you aren't alone and in someways we have all felt the way you do.


    Answer by brypmom at 5:01 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I am very very sorry for your losses. My husband passed away in February and my church's counseling resources have helped me a lot. I also go to multiple Bible studies and just being with people who are going through the same thing and seeing how they are addressing it spiritually has helped a lot. I know when bad things happen it's tough to see that God is still there. Something that really helps me is listening to worship music. It helps build me up and feel stronger. I'm also here for you if you ever want to talk. I will be keeping you in my prayers.

    Answer by Fiestygoodbye at 4:46 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • He sits in silence, watching my tears
    I pour out every thought in my head my heart cries out I'm broken and bruised
    He sits in silence, watching my tears
    I try to wipe the tears away and calm my own fears
    He sits in silence, watching my tears
    I hear so softly...."I am here"
    I cry out please hold me
    I feel arms around me my head on his chest crying my tears
    He sits beside me wiping my tears
    If you could see me you'd think it quite queer for you'd see noone holding me near
    But I know my Father sits in silence, watching my tears - only waiting for me to say
    I need you beside me to dry all my tears.

    Answer by brypmom at 5:04 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I have came back to your question 3 times before I could get myself together enough to answer. 10 years ago I lost our daughter at 30 weeks pregnant, I was a disaster, and my husband and I went through some rough patches,, floating in the ocean is exactly how I would describe it,,,,You want someone to give you a reason and there isn't any,,,I would pray and talk with my pastor. I will say that time does make the pain get better, but you always remember it, Our daughter died on my birthday, and I have never enjoyed one again. Hopefully your Grandma had a really good full life, and keep in mind she was there for you when you needed it (maybe God's plan?) There are groups for mother's of stillborns, but I felt like I relived it everytime we meant, but it was nice for a bit to be able to talk to people who had been through it. Hugs to you,, and I will keep you in my prayers, feel free to message me if you would like to talk!

    Answer by kimigogo at 4:56 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I know how you feel...I lost my mom on March 18th & it was a shock, sudden death....My prayers are with you....

    Answer by girliemom0406 at 5:41 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • :( I am so sorry hun. Things happen in life and sometimes we are left with no answers. Just take time right now to focus on getting your emotions in check. Don't try to make sense of things. Just let it be. Go through the motions. No one knows how you feel except you. Just because someone has gone through a similar situation doesn't mean they know how you feel.

    Answer by jujubean1979200 at 6:56 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I'm sorry for all the loses. Hugs for your family. It will just time to get passed everything.

    I don't know why jujubean was down-voted. It is good sound advice.

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 9:53 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • You cry. Scream. Rage. Grieve. Then you keep going--keep moving. Do what needs to be done. And slowly, but surely, things will start to improve. Christians like to say that god never gives you more than you can stand. Unfortunately, life isn't so "compassionate". It is a series of bad luck, followed by good luck, followed by bad luck, and on and on and on. If it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger than you can even imagine right now. You're tougher than you realize. Keep going!! Don't let the darkness win.

    Answer by witchqueen at 11:52 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • Check into your state welfare service. They called it Aid to Dependent Children in my day. Get food stamps to keep your family fed. Get welfare checks to keep your family clothed. Do whatever it takes.

    Answer by witchqueen at 11:54 PM on Apr. 7, 2011