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Is there anyone else out there that lives in the traditional way anymore?

First off I have to say that I understand why women are so adiment about being succesful now days because they dont want to rely on a man to take care of them plus many other reasons. However I believe life is full of choices and if you make bad ones then you have to deal with the consequenses. I would never marry a man that I was not 100% confident in that he would be determined in life to make something of himself for him and his family. So my thought process is in a totally different place then of a women who feals they need to be succesful so they dont another words get (screwed). I am only 25 yrs old and strongly believe in us women being home makers and our husbands bringing in the dough. I was raised like that and I hope my children will do the same but if not then I will still support them in what ever they choose to do in life. I love cooking and having a nice clean house for my husband to come home to along with taking care of our babys. I am very thankful to have the husband I do because when I get behind on house work or need help with the kids hes more then willing to help me. He is a great provider, dad and husband. I also homeschool and take great pride in being such an involved parent. If I was a working outside of them home mom I could never do everything I do now for my family. Its just sad to me that so many women are becoming less and less involved with there family and home life because they are out working hrs on end at a job somewheres else. This world is definatly changing.

 
LANDENSMOMMYlmk

Asked by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 7:37 PM on Apr. 7, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 16 (2,456 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (51)
  • I think the traditional family went out the door some time ago. I'm fortunate enough to have a husband who earns enough money where I can stay home. We have two kids and both are in school now, 1st and 2nd grade. I did work in the school last year as a lunch aide but the job was eliminated due to budget cuts. I'm still trying to get some sort of subbing job, whether is teacher, aide or secretary. It's very important to us that I'm home for the kids. They are too young to be home alone and I don't want to work full time in order to pay for child care when they are not in school..and that includes the summer! I enjoy being a housewife. I often say that I was born way too late! I have a college degree and did work until my older child was a year old. My sister lived w/us and took care of him while we worked. I think it's a shame that not more moms are home w/the kids, whatever the reason.

    JenE1098

    Answer by JenE1098 at 5:02 AM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • um. ok. i was raised in a very traditional household and i always wanted a career. it wasn't until i met my husband that i really thought about having children. i hate cooking but am very particular about a clean house. no worries, my husband loves to cook and does a damn good job. my husband is also a great provider, dad and husband. likewise, i am a great provider, wife and mother. you say if you worked, you could never do everything you do now. i feel the same way but opposite, if i stayed home, i could never do everything i do now.

    please do not make the mistake of thinking that a woman wanting a career makes her love her children or family less. does your husband love your children any less? we are not all cut from the same cloth, and your choices make perfect sense to you but seem really stupid to me. likewise, you seem to not understand any of my choices. you don't have to, and that's ok, because you don't make them.
    mellypoo

    Answer by mellypoo at 7:45 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I think you might be a little closed minded. I'm a SAHM and my hubby is a hard worker and I am very confident in him as a provider. With that said, I respect women with careers. I'm sure they feel as if they are providing a lot for their families by working. It's another quantity vs. quality argument ... just because they aren't their all of the time doesn't mean their kids are suffering by any means.

    That's why the world is changing, because we have MORE choices. I am happy to have the choice to work IF I want. I think that's what makes us all unique ... most of us in the U.S. can make choices to suit our OWN lives.

    Just because something works for you, doesn't mean it's right for everyone. AND just because it's the way you do it doesn't mean it PERFECT way of raising a family.
    kaylan010

    Answer by kaylan010 at 7:48 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I am not a stay at home mom, do you feel sad for me? I still cook, clean, take care of my children and are very involved in their lives. Because a woman works outside of the home, does not make them less involved in their family's life. Does that mean the husbands aren't involved in the family life?

    Not to be rude, honestly, but if you're homeschooling your children, learning proper spelling and grammar so that you can teach them might be a good idea.
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 8:01 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • When I read your post the words "young" "naive" and "uneducated" came to mind. But if you are happy, have at it, knock yourself out, good for you, but for the love of pete, drop your judgement of working mothers. Clearly it is a subject you know absolutely nothing about, how on earth can you comment on it?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:26 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I think, unfortunately, many people don't even have that choice. There are so many singles parents, and things have gotten so expensive, that, often, one income just doesn't cut it.

    My husband and I have a more traditional arrangement right now, by choice, but I do have a career waiting in the wings for me so I can work during the hours that the kids are at school. I want to keep my brain going, even while retired, so I plan to work as long as I can get there.

    Kids are my number one priority, though, so I choose not to work when they are not in school, so I can mother them.

    I feel lucky to have that choice, though, and you are lucky to have that choice, as well.

    Finances are really hard for most people right now. . .THAT is the main culprit. When our parents were rasing us, it didn't matter WHAT you did, you always had enough for a home, car and living. That is not the case anymore, and it is about to get worse
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 7:46 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • to assume that all women w/ careers only want them b/c they dont think their husband can/will provide for them is just sad. im a SAHM & while there are great perks to it, i do plan on having a career in the future. it has nothing to do w/ finances or b/c my DH cant provide for us, but rather b/c its something i WANT to do! i look forward to the day that i will be done w/ school so i can have a career. while i love my children & love the time i get to spend with them everyday, i long to have something that is only mine...a self-worth that is based on my real skills (cause honestly anyone can clean a house & play w/ kids). i want to use my true skills instead of the ones others think i should focus on just b/c i have a vagina.

    honestly im glad we have the choice to work or not. its something our ancestors fought very very hard for and shouldnt be taken so lightly.
    okmanders

    Answer by okmanders at 8:16 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • Speaking for myself..yes really! If a person is teaching children, then they should be able to read and write properly. Regardless of where they are presenting the writing. If you didn't homeschool your children, and you saw their teacher put up a post on the internet with that many mistakes, you honestly think that wouldn't make your think twice about that teacher's ability to teach?
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 8:44 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • They are so cute at that age aren't they? 25 with no knowledge of the real world outside their perfect bubble. I don't get angry or offended by babble like this. Just pity the op because reality smacks hard for those who don't see it coming.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • DH insisted that no matter what, he would support us. I was free to work if I wanted, but he never wanted me to feel like I *had* to. Our plan was for me to stay home with DS and go back to school when he started kindergarten. Nice plan...right up until DH got hurt, workman's comp and insurance spent so long arguing about who should pay for it and what treatment was "appropriate" it got even worse (if they'd done surgery immediately it would've been simple and fixed it, instead they bounced around with surgical alternatives for 2 years, screwed it up even worse, and he ended up needing 2 surgeries). End result, I HAD to go back to work. There was no choice, no "traditional values" and no staking my independence to it. I had to go back to work or we wouldn't have electricity, because disability was only 1/2 his normal pay and he was out of commission for over a year.

    Prepare for THAT, no matter what you "value".
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 9:58 PM on Apr. 7, 2011