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Sometimes I just don't know what "being a good mom" means ?....

I always wonder " does a great mom would do what I'm doing ? "

I don't know if I am being paranoid, and fear to be judged, or if I don't have enough common sense, sometimes I feel I am doing terrible mistakes, and doing the whole thing wrong... I feel i am a bad mother, and i feel people are looking at me like I am too young (21).

But I try my best since the begining: I had natural birth, I stopped smocking complitly when I was 5 month pregnant, I am breastfeeding, co sleeping. and babywearing him, still sometimes I just don't know what I'm doing or what should I do ?

I'm a SAHM and my partner works at home. We were travellers and so we have a really free kind of life, and we are planning to be back on the roads in a few months, with the little one. I eat in my bed, I eat a lot of chocolate and ice cream,( but not my baby, I only feed him organic veggies and fruit and BM), and dont bruch my teeths every single day, we go to bed really late, and the baby has picked on our schedule ( he goes to sleep around 10pm, and makes me get up at 9am, after waking up all night long to nurse), we say a lot of bad words, and so on....

I also always enjoy when friends are holding him, so I can do stuff,and be chatting like facebook or cafemom.. Am i normal lol ? Should some good mom prefer holding her baby ? He is pretty good with people, but still I am hoding him a lot, my arms are geting tired, he's so heavy !

sometimes i fear that I am not strong enough to protect my baby.

Does anyone feel that way too ? what do you think ? What is a good mom supposed to do or not do ?

Koko la ptite maman.

 
kokomaman

Asked by kokomaman at 1:16 AM on Apr. 8, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,413 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • I'm young too (19) but old enough to know that it's not how old you are or if you keep the 'perfect' schedule, if you feed them all the right things, or if you're a total Stepford Wife. The mark of a good mother is caring about your kids and being willing to sacrifice time, sleep, patience, and your own life for your children. You sound like a good mom to me ;)
    EdwinsMommy

    Answer by EdwinsMommy at 1:20 AM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • A good mom doesn't have to hold their child all the time. Just be in same room, talk to them. I never felt tied down with my kids because I made everyday chores a fun activity. I would however set a schedule and teach them while they are young to help out with family things, (pick up toys for example). If you make bedtime a fun time and not a rushed event it goes smoothly. Read a book, have a talk, or just sing for a few minutes while the child is in bed. They may fuss, but don't pick them up, just stand there and comfort. I always spent about 1/2 hr with them each day before going to bed. They looked forward to our time. Watch the mouth, cause what you do is how the kid will act. Don't need to pristine princess, but give respect to get respect. Boundaries make for happier families. Mine are young adults and I can truthfully say it was a pleasure raising them. Good luck!
    TwinkleLites

    Answer by TwinkleLites at 1:24 AM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • One quick thing, love the stepford wife comment...can't stand those types! Make sure you don't spoil your child by not using the word no. As a mom we want them happy, but they can be happy even if they hear the word no. If they throw a tantrum, tell them to get up or just walk away a safe distance. 9 times out of 10 they will come running. If you let them know it bothers you they win. I once got onthe ground and started crying, my daughter just looked and me and never did again. Guess I took the fun out of it for her. Extreme approach. LOL!
    TwinkleLites

    Answer by TwinkleLites at 1:28 AM on Apr. 8, 2011

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