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Former BBF

I broke it off with my friend 7-8 years ago cause I was just not feeling how and why she had a baby. I felt bad for doing it but whatever I did it. I know she didnt see it coming and years later a friend told me she thought I was crazy. Fair enough.

Now there is a party coming up and she will be there. I am not afraid of her and I know we wouldn't stoop down to no silly fighting level but I do think how that interaction will be.

Any advice on if I should bring up old stuff or force it out of memory and talk like the day before I said I didnt want to be friends anymore???

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:49 AM on Apr. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • we have mutual friends but NO ONE ever speaks about her to me and me to her.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:51 AM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Why would you bring up the past? Don't act like nothing happened. because something did happen. you didnt want to be friends with her because she had a child.

    Just say hello ask how she is etc. small talk.

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 2:53 AM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • I wouldnt worry about probably wont be as bad as your thinking...if she DOES question you about it...tell the truth...hell what harm could it do to at least let her know why you broke off your friendship.....maybe she has even changed

    Answer by Lucky209 at 2:53 AM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Can i ask why you thought she souldnt have a baby? i'm kinda curious, if you dont mind me asking :)

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 2:58 AM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • I was holding my feelins in for a while. I didn't want to say it while she was pregnant because I didn't want her to be upset. Then one day the fact that we couldnt do the same things as before really got to me one day. We were talking and it just came out.I was shocked I said it and was like wow and hung up. never gave an explaintion she tried to call back but I was to afraid to answer cause I was like what they hell did I just do/say???? I haven't talked to her since. I definitly remember feeling like we were growing apart cause now she was a mom and I knew being a mom took a lot so I would have to go on the back burner. Now I'm older I don't think that would have happen but I can see as a child who's mother did that to her I can understand where I was coming from, expereince.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:37 AM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Honestly, from the answer you just gave, it sounds like you have a different perspective than you did back then. I'm sure she was hurt by your absence in her life. Could you call her & ask her to go out for coffee or something and talk to her about what happened and why you dropped her so suddenly?

    I don't think you can pretend it didn't happen.

    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 7:37 AM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • See this the thing...I don't feel like I owe her an apology. It's more of how I said it. I could haave talked about it WAY better and explained how I felt we were growing apart and I knew she had to put her child first. it hurt me to "lose" a friend cause I knew she couldn't do the same things before...we were wild young and carefree. lol when she told me she was pregnant my first thought was "I didn't know she was planning that" lol then said congrats lol We were so close that it threw me off.....

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:48 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Why couldn't you stay friends with her? yeah she was having a child, but thats going to happen, your friends are going to go different paths than you, thats what growing up is all about.

    i know when i had my daughter ( and even when i was pregnant) I drifted from a lot of friends. some i dont tlak to anymore but not because i had a child, because we led different lives. and i knew that and so did they.

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 8:26 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Just based on our current lifestyle someone having a kid would elimanate them. Like we partied ALL the time. She was my right hand man so now she was going off that way was like "whoa". I was having tons of other issues with work and family stress and I guess I just expected her "that friendship" to be a constent. IDK . As the single person it felt like what could we possibly do now. We got into a "fight" about something...I hadn't seen her in a bit we went in a store and we seperated from one another by time I realized she must have been done she was upset cause her mom was calling her non stop to come back and get the baby. She (my friend) was yelling at me. She said thigns aren't the same as before. she apoligzed for yelling/her tone. I was hurt by it cause I just didn't expect it for being 2 minutes late. I was silent the whole ride home. She asked was this how the friendship will end? I said "I just need time".

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:50 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Thats so stupid tand selfish on your part. I hope the girl sees u werent a true friend to her. Theyre there always no matter what.y r u on cafemom do u have a child now?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:23 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

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