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He has no friends at school.....

this is my 2nd youngest, almost 8, in 2nd grade. he is the youngest in his class, but also one of the biggest. i don't know if the kids do, but adults always think he is older than he really is. anyway, ihave visited him at lunch a few times, and always ask who he plays with at recess, and he always is wandering on his own, and says he does not play with anybody. little by little, it has come out that the kids make fun of him, he cannot seem to keep his hands away from his nose. he asks if he can play and they tell him NO and run away. now, i know, he needs to keep his hands away from his nose, and i remind him when he does it. he has his brothers to play with at home, and he is on a flag football team in the summer and tackle in the fall. he has a few friends from there. we have his b-day coming up, going to take the kids to see RIO, and he is having a hard time getting kids to come. i know i cannot force kids to be his friend, but i am at a loss as what to do now. there are only six weeks left of school, not sure if i should do anything or not.

sorry so long, if you you made it this long. :)

Answer Question

Asked by itzmyzoo at 11:11 AM on Apr. 8, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 15 (1,841 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Probably nothing you can do in the next 6 weeks to change things. Maybe over the summer work on keeping his fingers away from his nose (I have one that does this also and I love the way you worded this habit!!).

    Answer by meooma at 11:18 AM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • It isn't the amount of friends that they have but the quality of the friendships that they cultivate. As he gets older he will make more friends but they will be closer friends than the ones that he may make at school at this age.

    Answer by coala at 11:21 AM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Oh mama . . . I know that feeling . . it breaks your heart . . .

    My daughter (4) went to a new preschool this year. We were concerned for a long time . . . she wasn't fitting in. The boys would make fun of her and the girls when tell her "go away!" when she asked to play. It was terrible. The teacher and I conferenced about it alot, and the teacher would up "pairing" her with the little boy who was the worst offender. She actually suggested playdates, which we did. Funny thing, the boy befreinded her, as did the rest of the class after that. Sometimes there is one trendsetter/instigator that bullies and the rest of the kids follow suit. Quite honestly, though, I still don't like that boy . . . . but things are better.

    Make sure you and the teacher are coming up with solutions together . . the teacher has ALOT of control. Another option would be enrolling him in a different elementary in the district.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 11:26 AM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Oh, and one other thing I did . . . I set up days when I would be in the classroom and lead a really fun music activities with the kids. When a parent makes a presence, it expands the "concept" of the child in the eyes of the other kids, and they now associated her with some fun stuff.


    Good luck.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 11:29 AM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • thanks, ladies! it just breaks my heart, he is starting to talk about it, i had no idea the kids were teasing him. i just always thought he was a loner. one of the boys that is in his class, my DS likes, is our neighbor across the street. neighbor boy comes over to play but only plays with my oldest, which makes my 8 yo sad. maybe wrong but i am trying to limit the amount of time neighbor is over. and another boy that is in his class, we have known for a long time. they play football together, i am afraid that at football this year, the friend will tease my DS and then he will be shunned on the football team, too. i KNOW it is gross habit, and we are working on it, got any ideas on how to help him quit?

    Comment by itzmyzoo (original poster) at 11:31 AM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • a diffrent school is not an option for us. :( my oldest is going to middle school, and i am having to drive him out of district cause the one he is supposed to go SUX! my 9 yo goes to the same school as my 8 yo. that would be 3 diffrent schools! lOL!! i already feel rushed in the AM!! and yes, i am going to send the teach a request for a confrence today.

    you guys ROCK!!

    Comment by itzmyzoo (original poster) at 11:35 AM on Apr. 8, 2011

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