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Here's the deal. My husband is a really great guy. Everyone loves him. His co-workers think he is the most giving, honest, hard-working guy. Everyone praises him to me. But I feel funny and a little crazy, I guess.

About a year ago, we started joking around about "grading" each other and what we do. It was just a joke and was pretty funny. But, my husband kept it going. Now, he keeps a log, and I get a grade every day. He writes next to it all of the things I could do better to get a better grade. It has turned into something really degrading. He still laughs about it.

I have been so busy with having babies and caring for babies, that I just can't even tell you how it got to this point.

Whenever I bring it up, he tells me to "relax" that it is "just a joke". But, he is serious when he does it!

I feel stuck. Am I crazy? AM I making too much of it? What can I do?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on Apr. 8, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • If you do not see 'the joke' and have asked him to stop but he continues doing it that shows a complete lack of respect for you. He needs to respect what you say...tell him that and everyday he mentions it, writes it, whatever rate/grade him with a big F.

    Answer by meooma at 2:15 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • WOW! I think keeping a log and writing down and grading every day? I think he needs to check himself!!

    Answer by cheekycherub at 2:15 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • You can't really be sure if something dark is coming out unless this is not the only thing you have noticed that have has changed. He is being more possessive of you, telling you what to do and not to do things like that you have to watch out for.

    Answer by jnb71584 at 2:31 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Throw that book in the fireplace and declare THE GAME is over,, I mean every game has to come to an end right,,, I think way too much,, hugs! If he doesn't want to give him an F then next time you have sex,, LOL!

    Answer by kimigogo at 2:24 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • That's totally disrespectful. He's not your father or teacher, and you've asked him to stop. Sounds pretty messed up to me. I agree with Kylansmommy09, throw it away and tell him to grow up.

    Answer by MsKylaSkyy at 2:36 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • You know how you start doing something, even for fun, and it gets out of hand. Well, this is what happened with your DH. He thinks it is nothing, and has not realized that you are hurt by it. Do not step lightly about this. Tell him you are tired of being graded, and you find it disrespectful. Don't ask him to stop, tell him to stop. Maybe if you are a little more forceful in this situation, he might realize you are not joking anymore and he might stop. Good luck.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 2:53 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • I know exactly how you feel. My husband does that in some way I just get so annoyed. He irritates me sometimes.

    Answer by janeq123 at 3:41 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • you shouldn't need to be "graded" that's very strange.

    Answer by xLeeAnnex at 3:48 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Start giving him an "F" each time he pulls out the book. He's FAILED to understand it's crossed the line of funny and into abusive territory.

    Answer by isabellalecour at 5:29 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Is this normal, though? I mean, it is weird because now I worry that there is something really dark in there that is just now coming out. Is that crazy?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:26 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

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