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How do I deal with my child when he acts up at school but behaves at home?

Today (April 8) the teacher called me saying my son was caught in the bathroom stopping up the sink and letting the water spill all over the floor he created a huge mess the janitor had to close the restroom to clean up. He also filled his pocket with dirt and spilled it all around the Art room. He has never done these things at home and really I have no clue where he picked it up from!


Asked by Cloudfairy at 2:32 PM on Apr. 8, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (9)
  • lol- sorry to laugh but I had a cousin that did stuff like that! I'd forgotten all about that!

    I'd see if he's acting out or being bullied to rule that out first. If that's not it, he's probably just having a grand old time where he thinks he can get away with it. Does the teacher punish him for it?

    What does he have to say about it? I'm curious where he got the idea from too! He's only in nursery school? looks like he's going to be a handful later on!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • The teacher puts him in "refocus" when he acts up. When I ask him why he did it he starts to cry and say "because I was being bad because i .........." the rest is usually untranslatable. I have told him there is no excuse for behaving badly. I already am going to take away POWER RANGERS for a month. Last time he acted badly I took POWER RANGERS away for a week and he straightened up so I let him watch them again but now he is acting up again so yeah a month this time. I seriously think it is the show it is probably being a bad influence I thought the POWER RANGERS. Were good guys but for me they are the bad guys.

    Comment by Cloudfairy (original poster) at 2:50 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Home school

    Answer by mymy.ttc at 2:52 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • My brother was like that-- he would behave at home because he knew there were consequences, but he would misbehave at school because the teacher was too busy to deal with it swiftly and effectively. She was also relatively new to the profession, and he was basically having a power struggle with her.

    My parents' solution was to impose a double-punishment system. If he got in trouble at school, he had to do whatever punishment the school imposed, but also had punishment when he came home. His favorite thing in the world was television, so he lost television privileges. If he continued with the behavior, the consequence would escalate. My parents actually took time off work to escort him through his classes-- which was horribly embarassing for him-- and charged him their per diem.

    Answer by Busimommi at 2:58 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • I am actually considering sitting in on his class I do not want to impose on the teacher or staff but if this continues I may have to do it maybe I can find out what is leading up to his acting up. My mother ( who is a retired teacher) said he might be being encouraged to act up by a classmate. I am ruling nothing out at this point.

    Comment by Cloudfairy (original poster) at 3:08 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • The TEACHER needs to have more control over her students. Why are preschoolers being left in the bathroom on their own? That is just trouble waiting to happen. EVERY child care center I worked at, the kids had to be supervised in the bathroom to make sure their curious little minds didn't do exactly what your son did. As for the dirt, the teacher could make sure he empties his pockets BEFORE going inside, there were many times I had to do this with my students and my son.

    Maybe taking Power Rangers completely away is a good thing. Don't give it back until he is older and understands the concepts of real and pretend.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 3:29 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • I think sitting in on the class is a great idea and i dont think it would be imposing. That way you could see how the teacher handles things in the classroom. I am sorry if i missed it, but how old is your son? I think instead of taking things away, it would be more beneficial if you made your son earn things to make things more positive. That way it wont make him feel like a bad person. For example, if he has 4 out of 5 "good" days then he gets 20 minutes of power ranger time or something to that effect.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:25 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • I talked to my son and asked him about where he saw the behavior he was displaying and after many tears he admitted the culprit as the POWER RANGERS. I guess that means until he turns 7 no more POWER RANGERS for him. He is 4 by the way @anonymous. I know he is at theage where he repeats behavior he sees so now before he watches something I will have to prescreen it and explain that what he sees in the movie is not to be done at home.

    Comment by Cloudfairy (original poster) at 2:16 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • you have to talk to him and say you cannot do that at school because you will get in trouble with the teacher and school also but you must tell him to stop walking with the wrong people and start walking my your self better and go to chrunch with him so he could learn the word of god well god bless you both

    Answer by marivel718 at 4:59 PM on Apr. 9, 2011