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I don't know what to do.

Me and my ex have been split up for 2 years now and he has "moved on " to different women and I decided not to see anyone right away because I had to get myself situated. Well I have been asked out by 3 womderful guys over the last 6 months since I was ready to just go out on a date. Well every single time my ex had at least one of his friends spot me somewhere and he would show up wherever I was and start to harrass my date and I. He wouls say things like what are you doing with her? Don't you know this is my girl? I have put a restraining order on him and I have made countless complaints to the police but it seems like they never do anything about it. either way it scares them off and I don't get asked out for a second or third date. I haven't seen anyone in a while and my old friend from hs came home from iraq and we started talking, then hanging out. we are going on our first official date tonight and I don't know how he'll handle my ex when we go out in public. He said that if he tries to start something he'll defend me and not let him intimidate us. I just feel embarrassed about the whole situation and the fact that I have to deal with my ex when I go out in public. He does this to my gay friends too. ugh. so frustrating.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:17 PM on Apr. 8, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • SCREW HIM. Stop letting him control you!!!! Hopefully you have a strong guy tonight that will stand by you and care for you.... not the words of the EX. Go out and have a nice time.... if anything does occur then grab some dinner and a movie head to your house to finish the date... then call the cops if HE or his friends come to YOUR HOME. AND what does his current gf think of his actions??? try asking her ..... heck ask her WHY SHE CAN'T keep her boy in check, or in his own yard. LOL.
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 4:22 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Why don't you stay in and make dinner together? That would be romantic and you will have no worries about your ex popping up. Or go out of town to eat if that's an option.
    bdflykisses

    Answer by bdflykisses at 4:22 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • I would go out and try to enjoy myself, I think it's good your date knows before hand what to expect. You have to just go on with your life, the best way you can and hopefully all the' drama" will die down! It maybe a good idea to avoid any places you know he and his friends may show up, just to avoid confrontation. Again, go have fun, I'd say your date can handle what comes his way!

    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 4:24 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • It sounds like your friend knows what could happen and is willing to go out with you anyway. I'm not advocating confrontation but maybe this is what your ex needs - a real man to stand up to him and tell him to shove off.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 4:34 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Sounds like the police should be doing more. Sorry hun, that really sucks. If your date this time says he won't let this asshole scare him off, he sounds like he really cares about you. Good luck! You deserve someone great!
    CollegeMommy121

    Answer by CollegeMommy121 at 5:00 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Do you call the police when your ex approaches you? Call as soon as he starts walking toward you, its called harrassment and he can't do that. When the police arrive agree to sign whatever needs signed to take him away.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 5:21 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Who are you telling that your EX would know what you are doing? I mean, do you both have friends in common? how is he finding out when you go on dates to even do this?
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:19 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • He has friends everywhere and this is a small town, there's only so many restaurants or places to go out.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:20 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • I'm not on twitter or facebook or anything else like that either. idk how he finds me.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:21 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • If it was me, I'd drive to another town to go out. You don't need the stress of wondering if/when he's going to "pop" up during the evening. How far to a town where he doesn't have friends?
    Whimsee

    Answer by Whimsee at 5:32 PM on Apr. 8, 2011