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Step moms and weddings

My little sister is about to get married. We have a great mom, step dad (who is just as much our dad as our dad) a dad and a SM . At my wedding 2 years ago, she tried to take all control, SM went crazy everytime she wasn't front and center. We have never really gotten along with her, she has 4 boys who are younger and everytime we would go to their house as teens, we ended up babysitting, cleaning and cooking. She tried to make our mom sit behind her at the wedding so she could sit by my dad. When we did the pictures, she only wanted my mom and step dad to be in a few and the rest just her and my dad. All these different things, I could go on and on. Well anyway, now my sister is getting married and wants to make sure she doesn't try any of this at her wedding. She said she is going to sit her down and tell her that she is there as a wedding guest, not mother of the bride. She will sit where she is told and remember that our mother is the mother of the bride. She is also going to tell her that if she causes any problems, she will not be invited. I think she may be being a little too direct but after all SM tried at my wedding (never got away with any of it) I can't really blame her. Our dad thinks it is wrong that she be treated as just a guest but I think that is up to the bride. Is my sister wrong or right?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:41 PM on Apr. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I think shes right. GL!

    Answer by xxMasonsMommaxx at 4:43 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • I think your sister is absolutely right.

    Answer by bdflykisses at 4:44 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • A little bit of both. She is more than a guest, she is married to the father of the bride and should be able to sit next to her DH.
    The rest of it sounds very controlling, but she would normally be treated very respectfully. Of course, her previous actions may exclude her from any respect that is owed.

    Answer by Candi1024 at 4:45 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • I think YOUR parents and steps should all be able to sit up front. if possible. IF NOT then the steps need to sit directly behind the parents. SM DOES NEED TO BE PUT IN HER PLACE!!!!!!! ITS NOT HER DAY. IF it hurts your dads or her feelings then OH FLIPPIN WELL. Its sister big day NOT THEIRS. DONT LIKE IT THEN DONT COME. THEY NEED TO RESPECT THE BRIDE .

    Answer by kkbird at 4:47 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • I think your sister is right, it is her wedding and she should have it how SHE wants, and not SM. I hope your SM will behave herself and not try to pull the same stuff at your sister's wedding.

    Answer by MizLee at 4:47 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Oh man, my little sister is getting married in June... and our step-mom has completely taken over the wedding and made it all about her. She took my sis to get her wedding dress, without even inviting my mom!! My step-mom and dad have decided where the honey moon will be, and that her and our dad are going on it with them!!!! OMG!! We have been having wedding meetings in order to include her, but she completely takes over everything! Like, we decided on what colors us bridesmaids will wear, and my mom said that she will take us shopping (sisters are bridesmaids.)...So, our step mom took it upon herself to go shopping, ALONE, pick out and purchase our bridesmaid dresses... and they are not even the colors she decided on!! It is so ridiculous, I am sorry that your family has to deal with this as well. I am ready to pull my hair out! I wish your sister the best of luck!!

    Answer by Tarrar at 4:48 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • as a stepmom, i'm appalled that these women would completely take over like that, especially since the biomother is still involved. definitely put sm in her place. pp suggested still having her sit by her dh, which is a good idea, but having a talk beforehand might help with her wanting to rule the world.
    tarrar, i'm so sorry you're going through almost the same thing! remember that just because your sm bought those things does NOT mean you have to use them! so ignore the ugly dresses she bought, and go with your mom anyway! i can't believe that she and your dad want to go with them on their honeymoon - gross! are they paying for the wedding? ugh, that's why we eloped! lol

    Answer by AngryBob at 4:56 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Sister is right, it's her wedding and she can have it anyway she wants to.

    Answer by meooma at 5:11 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • thats wrong about your sister mother are always frist but your sister should love your mothers always because when she dies she will cry alot and misse her so be much as you could with her we know about today but we do not know about tommow well this is all goodby

    Answer by marivel718 at 4:08 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

  • marivel, I don't quit understand what you wrote but it is the SM that is acting like this, not our mother

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:30 PM on Apr. 13, 2011

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