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3 Bumps

I found out that my father is cheating....feel lost, betrayed and guilt

My parents have been together for about 30 yrs and I just found out my father is cheating on her. He is 63yrs old for crying out loud. My sister found pictures of him and his lady on his phone and they were pretty disturbing. I think he has an infant child with the lady. One night my mom heard him on the phone sweet talking and talking about the baby. My mother lives in Maryland and he in PA maintaining the family business. He use to travel back and forth so often and was suppose to sell the business and move back but has not and has no intention of doing. I feel so guilty because I know this and my mom has no idea and its killing me and hurting. I love him because he is my father but I am disgusted in him especially because of his age. I have no idea what to do. He has not been a great husband to my mother and she is still young at 50 and my dream would be for her to divorce and him and enjoy her life and divorce is not something she wants because of what people may say.

Im just venting. I feel like I want to distance myself from him and keep my mom from getting hurt

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:25 PM on Apr. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • You know as painful as it might be I would not be able to keep it to myself, and who knows she might already know.
    older

    Answer by older at 7:27 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Wow. So sorry for you. I can not imagine how hard all this is for you. I have no advice just a hug and some prayers!
    chris219

    Answer by chris219 at 7:28 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • I would tell my mom that is bullshit sorry but what an ass!
    kylansmommy09

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 7:30 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • I'm pretty sure I would tell my mother..No - I would definitely tell my mom.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 7:40 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Awwww! I'm sooooo sorry. There was a rumor going around my dads and boyfriend's work that my dad was cheating and having 3somes with these 2 people on their lunch break. It took me a minute to figure it all out, but the thought did run through my head that he actually could be doing this to my mom & they've been together for 27 yrs. I felt the same way. I actually cried. I felt so lost and confused. If the one man that I trusted and had more faith in than anyone in this world, could do this - is there ever hope for the man I end up with and should I ever trust anyone ever again? Do I want to risk spending 30 yrs w someone and have them do that to me ? After that long, you wouldn't imagine someone doing that to you. You know ?? I felt cheated on myself. I wish you two the best. I have to say I would want my mom to restart her life as well, but i don't believe she would. take care
    loudnproud87

    Answer by loudnproud87 at 7:45 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Tell your mom!! That's what I would do!!
    MissLoveLyfe

    Answer by MissLoveLyfe at 8:00 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • if you mother has heard him talking, then she probably knows more than you think.

    fact is, some women decide they are better off with the cheating husband than without him.

    I know you're hurt and I'm sorry, but it's their lives and their decisions. but, if you do have a baby sibling, maybe you'll feel better about that later. you don't have to be happy with your dad or the woman he sees, but your baby brother or sister will probably need you.
    I'm so sorry, I have been through this sort of thing with my own parents. They didn't have other children, but when I think of some of the things that went on, it gives me the chills.

    hang in there!
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 8:11 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • No, don't tell your mom. Tell your DAD that you know what's going on and that he better tell her.
    Your dad sucks to let you have to deal with this.

    I would not tell my mom. At least, I don't think so. It's a very very hard call, and I'm sorry, so sorry you have to deal with this. As much as it hurts though, I really don't think you should tell your mom. It's their relationship, and you shouldn't be (have to be) in the middle.

    Besides, maybe your mom knows and doesn't care? Maybe she's happy he's out of her hair? You saying something would make them all have to deal, and perhaps they're happy not dealing...?
    Saya

    Answer by Saya at 8:12 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • I will tell...
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 8:17 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Saya I think what you said is what it is. The relationship was bad that she feels relief that he isnt around but I still feel it is wrong for him to be married and doing that.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:21 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

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