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Do you allow other people to discipline your children, especially when they are under a year old?

My son sometimes spends time with his grandfather (my husbands dad) and he recently told me he slapped my son's hands because he pulled on his glasses (Mind you my son is 8 months old). I blew a top and my husband felt equally appalled, especially since his father also confessed to yelling at him numerous times. The grandfather's rebuttal was that "we need to discipline or he'll never learn." He also went on to state that he won't be spending time with our son if he can't discipline him. We no longer allow him to be within his grandfather's presents without supervision from myself or my husband but it has put a large gulf in our families. I don't think we are in the wrong, but what do you think?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:30 PM on Apr. 8, 2011 in Kids' Health

Answers (15)
  • Well i think u might be overreacting. Yes ur son is learning and exploring and so is my son. When my son pulls at my hair i slap his hand and say no, plus i say ow that hurts. (my son is 6months old) when he is going towards things that might hurt him u pick him up and tell him no u play here.
    see when ur child is in someone Else's care they have a right to discipline them unless it is in a hurtful way. I am a babysitter for other kids, and i ask the parents how would u like me to discipline if need be. And i do how they say.
    So why don't u talk to grandpa, ur husband and see what ways they can discipline ur son when grandpa has him, that way everyone is on the same page. when my mom watches my sons i tell her how to discipline my 3 year old and 6month old.

    Answer by at 9:38 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • I wouldn't/didn't let anyone discipline my children but me and hubs. I would not be okay with slapping and yelling at an 8 month old child. You are not overreacting in my opinion...grandpa needs to have supervised visits only.

    Answer by meooma at 9:41 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • I think slapping an 8 months old child is going a little overboard... He's too little to understand I think, but slapping hurts his little little hands, plus I think that the reason is not so bad enough.... pulling on the glasses? so what? that's what children do at that age: the pull everything :)

    Answer by NataliaWalle at 9:45 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • No one disciples our kids but my husband or myself, period. If your FIL can't respect that then he doesn't need to watch your son.

    Answer by scout_mom at 9:46 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • I will allow my parents to discipline my son, but the way they discipline him is so gentle that I'd never have to worry. They'd NEVER physically discipline him. I know that I can trust them. They love him almost as much as I do. Other than them, I wouldn't allow anyone to. IMO, smacking the hand of an 8 month old is wrong. That's entirely too young. He's too young to even know he did anything wrong, so what does discipline at that age accomplish? A smack for being naturally curious? I don't think that's right.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 9:58 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • And I want to son pulled on my dad's glasses more times than I can count. My dad laughed about it. My son is 18 months now and a "no" as he got older was enough to teach him not to do it. Smacking their hand is NOT necessary.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 9:59 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Wow. I let my mother and sister discipline my kids but I trust their judgment. They are more patient than I am, and it is definitely a case where if grandma spanked, holy crap you must have REALLY needed it.

    Slapping an 8 month old is NOT something that would fly with me. I would NOT trust that judgment.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 10:02 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • thanks everyone, it just especially pissed me off when we explicitly told everyone we don't spank or slap. Okay, I feel Much better about our decision. XO to all you mommies and thanks again for your help:)

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:06 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • I think you are right . I would have done the same . Ridiculous to slap a 8-month old .

    Answer by janet116 at 10:41 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • No, your in the right. Your kid, your rules. At 8 mo old there is no reason he can't redirect, or pull his hand away with a firm "no".

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 12:17 PM on Apr. 9, 2011

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