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Am I being too sensitive or what ??

I bought a canvas so my 4 yr old son could paint a picture of me and him that I could hang up in my room. When we just went to paint it, he wanted to include my bf in the picture. Which I'm ok with bc I do believe we have a future together. My son ended up drawing me last and by that time, he got unfocused and colored my whole face in. I asked why he did that and he said he forgot he couldn't. I even drew a happy face on it before he did that so he wouldn't color it in. Then to make it worse, my bf like freakin' took over the whole activity. Instead of letting me write the names over our heads, he did!! He also took it to himself to draw the sun and the clouds. Why wouldn't he let my son do that ?? Even if he couldn't finish it tonight bc he wouldn't be able to focus, he could do it another time, right ??
Yesterday - when we were doing fake tattoos which my son loves to do, my bf kept trying to take over that too. He was like trying to take the wet cloth from me and the scissors!! He was also trying to get all of my son's attention. If my son was talking to me, he would interupt us and my son would completely forget what he was even talking to me!!

My bf knows thats the shit his dad used to do to me. Why is he doing it now ?? I know its not in my head bc even my mom has noticed it. Why do I get controlling guys ?? I love that my son enjoys spending time w my bf and my bf loves spending time with my son, but at the same time its like dude don't take over a project I put together for him and I to do. ya know ?? I have bonding issues with my son anyways and I'm really trying to fix our relationship. I'm sad to say this but maybe I will have to have my bf over even less if he doesn't back off a little. What do you ladies think ??

Please don't be harsh or bash me. Thanks!!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:59 PM on Apr. 8, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Hugs. I can see that you feel pushed aside. You were trying to have a mom-son activity, and it seems to have taken another road. I think, though, that some of what you are feeling may be the hurt inside of you that is coming out. Hurt from the past . . .

    When a new boyfriend comes in the picture, and he really loves you . .. really, really loves you . . . he is going to try super-hard to bond with your kids. Because they are extensions of you. He may have thought that would please you or make your heart warm up. There was no way for him to know that your hurt would surface . . . I am sure that if he knew that was hurting your feelings, he wouldn't have joined in. But, that is not natural to know about those things . . . Try to see it from his eyes . . .

    Can you come up with another activity to do with your son while you two are alone?
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 11:11 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Sound like you need to plan activities for you & your son when you are alone with him, then have some that you all can do as a family. One on one is important for a parent and a child. and talk to your bf he may not realize he is do it.
    Graciesmom528

    Answer by Graciesmom528 at 11:08 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Tell him that you would like a little time for just you and your son. Say every Tuesday a Thursday's are just mommy and son days. That way you get the bonding time, uninterrupted and your BF knows that every other day he can spend with the two of you. Stand your ground. Don't be pushed around.
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 11:10 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Thanks so much for your supportive answers. I totally get what all of you are saying. The time alone in the evenings, not just during the day like we have already, obviously seems like it needs to happen. Its just hard bc my son has to see his dad every other day as well :( So the time is limited that even I get to spend with my son. I don't want to seem ungrateful that he's putting so much effort into forming a bond with my son. I love him and want him to be a part of my son's future. I want to marry him some day, just I kinda feel like he goes aganist what I say sometimes too and it belittles what I have to say as a mother in my son's eyes. ya know ? I guess I already have his dad belittling me, i don't need someone else too. ya know ?? idk I just feel like he knows how important this is to me. I know if I talk to him, he will change it, but I want to avoid the discussion if possible. I will try the evening alone time 1st.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:24 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • My son and I do crafts all the time alone just this one was something I told my son about earlier and he wanted to do it today. If I knew it would've ended up this way, I would've said we would do it another time when my bf isn't around. My son and I do get alone time together, but obviously we need more. ya know ?? Thanks again ladies. I really appreciate all the support and good advice !!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:28 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

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