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Ok so this is rly long but, me n my boyfriend fought he went to jail hes out now but i havent tlkd to him cos the state ordered a restraining order and im pretty sure he hates me. we have a 3month old daughter together adult content

ok so to start off me n him fight often but when we aent everything is soo good and perfect. we have a 3month old daughter and monday nigth we got into a big fight! i called the cops and he went to jail the fight was still from the agervation of the arguement the night before. i could have backed off but i kept yelling at him.. :/ so i know i am patrially to blame. hes charged with domestic battery but the thing is yes he hit me but it wasnt tht hard and he didnt beat the shit outta me. our daughter was in the house so i think thats why hews in so much trouble. his mom scraped up money to bond him out when i spoke to the prosecuter because i never said i wasnted a restraining order or charges to be pressed! so im going to try to drop the charges and get the restraining order lifted. i dnt want to lose him forever i love him more then anything. we broke up while i was preggo and dated another girl for like a week that girl is his sisters best friend and they did sexual things and shes always at the place where he is staying for now. im trying to think positive. but what do you think the chances of him coming back to me are?




what do you think the chances of him coming back to me are?

Answer Question
 
Rachelxbby

Asked by Rachelxbby at 11:24 PM on Apr. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Level 18 (6,158 Credits)
Answers (27)
  • before he was takin to the county he told his mom if i fixed things he would come back to me... im rtying court isnt til the 19th his mom is trying to hide everything from me too she wont tell me who the lawyer is and the prosecuter said every court date im at makes it better on him
    Rachelxbby

    Comment by Rachelxbby (original poster) at 11:26 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Forget about the chances, you need to go an get yourself a real man. Just because he "only hit you once" and he "didn't beat the crap out of you" doesn't mean you should stay. No man should raise his hand to a woman unless you were beating him too (which you didn't say you were, just yelling). You deserve better. Go find someone that you trust and don't have to worry about.
    an-apple-a-day

    Answer by an-apple-a-day at 11:27 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Sorry but I hope he doesn't come back for the safety of you and your baby. Don't be another domestic violence statistic. Just because he didn't hit you that hard doesn't mean he won't hit harder next time.... and there WILL be a next time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Honestly if I were you, I would hope that he doesn't come back. You aren't going to like what I have to say.

    fighting like that in any relationship is not healthy and hitting...there is no excuse. If you cannot work it out without hitting, then you need to move on.

    What you have is not love. Neither of you respect the other or you wouldn't be fighting like you do in the first place.

    I was in a relationship where 'he didn't hit me all that hard' and 'I provoked him and wouldn't back off'. A year later he almost broke my jaw.
    We never had kids but given time, he would have eventually hit them since they cry and don't stop sometimes and then they would have been provoking him.

    If he cannot learn to control anger and both of you cannot learn to treat with respect and solve problems in a constructive way, you shouldn't be together!
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:29 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • I am not sure you should let him, you need to think of what is truly the best thing for you and your baby. If nothing else take this opportunity to get couples counseling before you jump back into this relationship. I would not just let it go or you may end up back in the same situation down the road.

    Graciesmom528

    Answer by Graciesmom528 at 11:30 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • If you really want it to work, (i advise you dont) BUT if you do, write a letter to the judge on his behalf. based on his character.

    Hell prob have domestic violence classes, and a counselor. Tlak to his counselor to better the situation. Fines he will have. theeres no helping that.

    Go to all his court hearings. If the state is pushing the charges you cannot have them dropped. If the state pushed the restraining order you can try to have it dropped, but its up to the judge ( the letter of character will help drop it)
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 11:31 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • Don't make excuses for him. Don't sugar coat him. You know who he is, you know what he is, so see him for that and stay away. Your child and rest of your life will thank you for it.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 11:32 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • I think you need to realize your priorites. I was with my ex (father of my child) for 3 years. I stayed because I wanted to be a family. It wasn't worth it. I got the hell beaten out of me for 3 years, lied to, manipulated. And this happened infront of my child. It got to the point where he was chocking me out, not letting me work, and breaking my phones so I couldn't call the police. Please Please don't go back. I totally understand you love him, trust me I still love the father of my child, but you need to think about your child. It's hard as hell.... trust me, I've been crying the last couple nights. But eventually he is either going to kill you or hurt your baby. Please get away! If you need to talk message me.
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 11:32 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • I know how hard it is to go through something like this. ive been in your shoes and having achild makes it even harder. You need to look at what is best for you and your daughter. She doesnt need to grow up seeing and hearing these things. please think long and hard. He did it once, and hell do it again at some point! no matter how much counseling and fines he has to pay!
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 11:33 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • i know exactly how your feeling.. and its not going to be easy, but you need to move on. its never gonna get better. hes never gonna change and you need to stop making up excuses and trying to act like its your fault cuz its not. just take care of you and your daughter & youll meet someone better eventually..
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:34 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

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