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My daughter attends 'virtues' group where children play together, learn about how to behave and more. We always met at the house of one person, he has a nice big house. This week it was agreed that each of the members of the group will take care of all children, today they came to me... I always knew I have worse apartment than majority of them, but the children liked it. Adults however were disappointed in me... I know that...I don't know what to do...
I feel awful. Any advice?

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Asked by ganna04 at 1:18 AM on Apr. 9, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 14 (1,468 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • just explain that your apartment isn't big enough to accommodate them all. they shouldn't pressure you into it

    Answer by hellokittykat at 1:26 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • I agreed voluntarily. children had fun. but the parents...treat me like a here we give you the us... but I really had nothing to show... I spent 200 dollars on crafts and food, 300 on having nanny to help me, additional 200 for small gifts to all parents who took care of my daughter during this week... and yet... everyone else felt that I stand out. My apartment is small... I don't have hand made tea and I was not able to read for children, because they did not wanted it and I went with them...

    Comment by ganna04 (original poster) at 1:33 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • If they were disappointed, then its good that you found out how shallow they are. How could anyone judge a mother trying to be the best mom a child could ask for. With our economy being what it is today, having a roof over your head is a blessing. The greater lesson would have been to show the children that they can achieve togetherness in whatever setting. It's a part of unconditional love. Maybe this isn't the group you should be hanging with.

    Answer by Fab40Mom71 at 1:40 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • Dont worry about the other moms....who cares! As long as the kids had fun. Thats the part that counts. In my opinion you spent to much as it is....300 for a nanny....thats crazy!....Dont let them get to you. Like I said the main thing is the kids had fun...and you have a home for your might not be as fancy as other peoples homes but hey neither is mine.... =) But at least I have a home for myself my husband and my child. So dont worry. If you dont feel comfortable with them coming to your home then dont do it at your home again. Keep your head up hun!

    Answer by Shelii at 1:41 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • I don't know... I do, I wanted to go back to this group since my daughter having fun with those children, they felt equal so far , now i afraid it won't be possible anymore...

    Comment by ganna04 (original poster) at 1:56 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • Just give it a shot. Try it again, at least twice. If they STILL treat you like trash, approach the situation. Say something like, "Look, I know my home isn't the biggest, nicest, or newest. I know I have neighbors right out my door. I invited you to my home to be guests, and treated you with generous hospitality, the least you could do is respect me for contributing what I could. If you can't be decent and civil around me, my child and I both can find new friends."

    If they treat your dd any different at all, start your own group, and call it "True Morals!" Or "Real Manners"

    Answer by matobe at 10:44 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • I hate to be blunt but find another group for your child - these people are not your kind.

    Answer by mamamel61 at 10:53 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • in a group that teaches virtues - it disappoint me that they are so shallow! you should do nothing about it other than re evaluate if these people are as "moral" a they claim. my son has friends who live in very poor housing - single moms - i know if i didnt have dh i could afford much better as a teacher.... i judge them on character/ and honestly my son does not go to one friends house (parents are rich) bt their house is filthy and he gets sicks afterwards....

    Answer by AmaliaD at 3:52 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • I have to ask - were they really disappointed that your apartment wasn't as nice as some others? How do you know that they were? Or were you so nervous about their reactions that you are reading into things? Or so nervous that you were acting differently and that's what they were reacting to? I've been through this myself. We have a small house & I used to feel really insecure about it. But then I realized what everyone else has been saying to you - if people judge you on what you have, not who you are, you don't want them in your life (or your child's). But really ask yourself how you know they were disappointed.


    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 5:39 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

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