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The road runs both ways... right? at what point do I give up and just tell my sister I am simply done visiting

I moved 3oo miles away from my sister who is my only family.
She has no kids and her spare bedrooms are filled with clutter therefore me and my 3 kids have to sleep on her living room floor when visiting.
my husband refuses to visit because she refuses to make her spare rooms into guest rooms.
She refuses to come to see us. Even though a king sized bed is given up for her and her lazy husband to sleep on in privacy...
We do not have very much money and it costs $60 in gas plus....
when we get to her house she wants to just sit around...me and my kids want to run around and do things. which costs me even more money and if money weren't a problem I wouldn't care.
Easter is coming and she wants us down yet again....the last Holiday she came up here was 4 yrs ago and it was Christmas and everyone had alot of fun.
Do I have a right to be complaining or am I just being a bratty little sister and should just suck it up and go to her and visit at her crappy house


she makes good money and whine

 
wheresthewayout

Asked by wheresthewayout at 2:46 AM on Apr. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Level 29 (39,885 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Meh, I'd tell her exactly how you feel. All of it. She's gonna be mad, hurt, upset, but she'll get over it. It's not fair of her to expect you to make all the effort here. She's lazy and she is not treating you very well. She's got a big enough house, with more then enough room, yet she has you and your kids sleep on the livingroom floor? I agree, what she does with her house is her business, for the most part. However, when she does have extra rooms, but she does not have one set up for her only family to use when visiting? That's rude, uncaring and just not nice.
    I do agree that you should tell her you and your family want to spend Easter at home. But IF you want, invite her to your house. It's a holiday, you should spend it with your whole family, including your hubby. He's your family, she's your relative.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 8:26 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • I would tell her that you want to have a holiday at home. You can mention that it is a little uncomfortable to stay in her house because of the size of your family and the size of her place. What she does with her guest room is her choice. And the size of your family was your choice. No big deal. It just makes it more complicated. Invite her to your house. If she doesn't want to come, no big deal.



    jcsscfam5

    Answer by jcsscfam5 at 3:25 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • And yes, the road does run both ways. At least, it is supposed to.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 8:27 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • Yes, I agree with jcsscfam5. In a nice way, tell her you'd like to spend Easter at home and she and her husband are more than welcome to come. When you have time alone with her, have a heart to heart talk with her. Tell her you'd like to reciprocate the visits with her, ask her if she'd like you to help her clear one of the rooms to make your visit at her house more comfortable; by all means, tell her you feel all of you need privacy when visiting at either place. You can ask her to compromise with you; let her know that you feel that traveling has to be a two-way agreement. Tell her what you've said here carefully choosing words to describe your feelings and invite her to do the same. Remind her that you love her and don't want to turn into a bratty, whiny sister, that you want to share things you'd like to do with her so you can stay or become close. Then "leave the ball in her court."
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 7:26 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • Talk to her about doing things half in her location half in yours. Then you need to decide how important is it to see her if the situation does not change. You could consider going alone once in awhile but it is not fair the way it is now. hug
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 8:26 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • I will not visit her anymore
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 9:21 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • I'd suggest you do the celebrate at your house. Simply tell her you don't have the cash.
    jspenny2705

    Answer by jspenny2705 at 9:56 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • I think you have alot of valid reasons for not visiting her. You have 3 kids, you are forced to sleep on the floor, you leave your husband at home because he hates going there and being treated like crap, your kids have energy and need to be doing something other than being confined to a tiny little space while you and your sister talk, you don't have the gas money, and the road goes both ways. I'd say it to her just like that. I'd stay home for all holidays and she could either visit you or stay at her house.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 10:04 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • It's hard enough packing up two kids and going somewhere for the afternoon, let alone 3 kids for an overnight or two without Dh! Explain it's too much hassle and too crowded, and the kids are out of their environment. Tell her you're not going, and that she and Dh are more than welcome to come out, and they'll have a room to themselves.
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 11:39 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • well you should tell her that why she and her lazy husband come down to see you and spent time with you also it goes both ways take changes 1 year you and 1 year her like that it will be better for both of you well stay close to god
    marivel718

    Answer by marivel718 at 2:02 PM on Apr. 13, 2011