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6 Bumps

Childless couple advertise for donor eggs

Cathy O'Leary, Medical Editor, The West Australian April 9, 2011, 9:16 am
 

After seven years of trying to have a baby, including 15 cycles of in-vitro fertilisation and six lost pregnancies, John and Kate De'Laney have resorted to advertising for a stranger to donate her eggs.

The South Lake couple have advertised in this weekend's The Weekend West for a woman who will donate eggs so they can finally have a baby.

Mr De'Laney, 48, who manages a labour hire business, said they were desperate to have a baby but needed a donor because a genetic disorder meant his 36-year-old wife's eggs were unlikely to achieve a lasting pregnancy.

They had tried IVF at the Concept Fertility Clinic and managed six pregnancies but all were lost, the longest lasting just seven weeks.

The De'Laneys had since joined the clinic's waiting list for donor eggs but had been told they were 45th in the queue and only a few couples received eggs each year.

In desperation, they were now publicly appealing to women who have had children of their own to help them realise their dream of a family.

Mr De'Laney said he did not know how much they had spent on IVF so far because it was too depressing.

"We've deliberately not sat down and worked out the cost because it would be horrendous, with cycles costing anything between $6000 and $10,000 a cycle, so we just don't want to think about it," he said.

"We've got Medicare and private health insurance but there is still a big gap, but it's tough enough doing this without worrying about the money side of things too."

Concept scientific director Peter Burton said there were long waiting lists for egg donors, who needed to be aged 18 to 35, as well as a six-month waiting list for donor sperm.

Egg donors were harder to attract because the process of retrieving eggs was more invasive. They could only be paid a basic fee to cover their time and not for the eggs.

Dr Burton said generally it was better if couples had a known donor but this was not always possible.

Mr De'Laney said while he was keen to find a donor, he also hoped more than one woman would come forward so that other couples could be helped. "Many people just aren't aware of the predicament we face," he said.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:15 AM on Apr. 9, 2011 in Adoption

Answers (10)
  • Why don't they just adopt and help a child thats already here an alive. So what if they arn't biologically your, they can and will still love you the same. Maybe God made her like this for a reason to help these poor babies no one wants. Instead they are spending 10 of thousands of dollars trying for something that isn't going to happen. If a child is what you want and will make you happy adopt one and if thats not going to make your happy maybe you should be trying to be a parent. JMO
    letlovegrow2524

    Answer by letlovegrow2524 at 7:11 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • I can't even imagine the heartbreak of losing that many babies.  The excitement of being pregnant, to constantly have that ripped away from me.  I would NOT have gone through that 6 times.  I would try for adoption/foster parenting.  But that's me and this is them and this is how they want to have their family so no judgements here.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 7:31 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • I agree with MrsHouston. My SIL is going through a similar situation where she has been told she will need a donor if she is ever to have a successful pregnancy. She hasn't decided she wants to do that yet though.
    Syphon

    Answer by Syphon at 7:47 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • I can understand the need to want to experience pregnancy. Every time I hear a story like this, my heart goes out to them. And I also feel very blessed that I was able to experience the miracle myself - 3 times! :) That is a lot of money & a lot of heartache. Too bad no one they know would be willing to do that for them. I'm above the age requirement- so I cant give them mine! -There probably aren't too many left anyway! -lol I wish them & all the other couples on the list a lot of luck. I think I'd also get on the waiting list for an adoption too, since the ultimate goal is to share their love w/ a child. :)
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:57 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • – collapse
    Sorry, but I think that it's God's way of saying he DOES NOT want these two to have their own kid's. Maybe it's nature's way of telling them not to breed. They can adopt.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 8:58 AM on Apr. 9, 2011 (hidden) + expand

  • So what if they arn't biologically your, they can and will still love you the same.


    You can  not guarantee that they will love you like a parent. And some people want a baby and apparently wanting a baby is very selfish according to some women on here. I would donate eggs, I just wouldn't carry them.

    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 12:51 PM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • I would do it.
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 3:30 PM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • I am of the mind that if you go through all of this and God still says no you probably are not going to have a child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:32 PM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • Is this a question?

    My problem with egg donation is that it can be even harder for the child to find it's biological roots. Think of the child.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 3:05 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Vbruno, that was a heartless and ugly response. Maybe it is not God's plan for them to have a biological child, but I don't think it's really your place to say who should and shouldn't "breed". What about all of the people who conceive easily and abuse their children? Should they "breed"? Infertility is a medical issue, not a punishment from God. If it was, then men and women who have already hurt children would never be able to "breed" again.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 9:44 AM on Apr. 14, 2011

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