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4 Bumps

When other kids are in your home, do the same rules for your children apply to them?

not necessarily when the child's parents are over too, but mostly if the child is visiting your home or sleeping over and you're in charge.

my 4 year old has a "bestie" that she's known since she was 2, and her friend's mom and i have been friends since then too and we get along great, trust one another with eachother's kids and so forth. they have been having sleepovers since they were 3.

anyway my rule for my 4 year old is no drinks after bedtime. she still has night accidents sometimes. well the other little girl is allowed to take a drink to bed with her, but if i let her take a drink with her then it wouldn't be fair to my daughter. so last night i put Tangled on in my daughter's room and told her when it was over, lights out and go to sleep. about halfway thru the movie her friend came out asking for a drink and i told her No, no more drinks after bedtime. also, she ONLY drinks chocolate milk and will not drink regular. maybe i'm mean but i only let my kids drink chocolate with dinner AFTER they finish their meal, during dinner they only get plain milk. the reason is they will guzzle the chocolate down and be full before they eat. so last night i ordered pizza to make it easy on myself and everyone was given regular milk. all my girls finished their pizza and entire glasses of milk, and her friend only had about 2 sips. so she probably was thirsty but i did give them a glass of water later on.

idk i feel kind of mean for saying no to her since she isn't my child, but i just feel when she's in my home she will be treated the same.. lol. and i have no problem with my friend giving my daughter the same rules as her own daughter when she's in her home. thoughts??


Asked by tnm786 at 7:52 AM on Apr. 9, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • My house, my rules. You werent mean to her. She needs to learn that the world is not always the same, everywhe she goes. Rules change, depending on where you are, and she needs to respect all adults, and their rules, not just mommy and hers.
    My DD never has chocolate milk. And if she had a friend over, that had it all the time, the rules in MY house do not change, on a person to person basis, her little friend would be drinking regular milk, or water. And i dont think any of my mama friends would mind at all. Just as I know that everyone should always respect the rules of the home you are in. And if you dont like the rules of that home, dont go there. IMO.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • I agree with you. You might give her a drink at bedtime, not to take with her, but as the last drink of the night. And just expalin the rule about chocolate milk in your home. Kids that came to our hose were very accepting of our rules. We would discuss how every home has different rules and that was that.

    Answer by elizabr at 7:59 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • Well, that's tough. Some rules I thin would apply to all the kids, like no running on the house, drinks stay at the table... that kind of stuff. I think if the child didn't like White milk I would have offered water but stuck with the no chocolate milk until you eat. As far as the bed time drink I would have said drinks do not go into bed rooms, If you need a glass of water during the night then there is a cup in the bathroom. Telling my Daughter that 'I am not ___ Mommy and her Mommy does allow her to have drinks at night. If you want to talk more about this when she goes home we can.' Something like that I think...

    Answer by But_Mommie at 7:57 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • As far as house rules go, the usuals apply so nothing gets broken, spilled upon, etc. Bed time rules too. I think I would have allowed her a drink of water, but nothing else til breakfast time.

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 8:03 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • I agree with what you did.  I don't think it was mean.  Maybe I am the mean one because I would have saved the milk she didn't drink and she could have had a sip of that but I wouldn't have gotten her anything else until that milk was gone. 


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 8:06 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • hose = house

    Answer by elizabr at 8:00 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • In the situation you told no I would not have done that. My kids have to learn that some rules are for them for certain reasons. In your dds case she wets the bed, her friend does not. I would have explained to my dd if she did not wet the bed having a drink would not have been an issue, but her friend is fine with a drink and would get one. I try and use these sort of things as learning experiences for my own children.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:07 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • Same rules apply. But I probably would have offered her a drink of water at the sink.

    Answer by brypmom at 8:19 AM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • Same rules apply across the board. We have friends with kids that are much older than our DD so we haven't been to the age appropriate things that are done in the other home, so we enforce the rules from their homes for bedtimes and meals.

    Answer by coala at 9:29 AM on Apr. 9, 2011