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Abortion: Should I? (no bashing please)

I am 20 years old and just found out I was pregnant with my second. I'm only 5 weeks. I would never consider getting an abortion, as a matter of fact I was one of the ones against it, but now I don't know what to do. My sons father doesn't have a job and has never paid child support, he has never tried to make it possible for us to live together and yet I was stupid enough to get pregnant by him again. I live with my parents and I can stay home with my 1 year old. I would love to keep this baby but the only way I could is I would have to move out and have assistance from the government, which means I'd have to have at least 20 hours of work a week. My son is very attached to me and screams his head off if he even thinks I'm leaving. I can't even imagine leaving him at daycare. So therein lies the problem, what should I do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:59 PM on Nov. 30, 2008 in Pregnancy

Answers (28)
  • You should have your baby. There will always be a way to work it out. Are you sure your parents wont let you stay?

    Answer by kabbot01 at 9:05 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • It inevitably is your final decision and i know there is more factors than anyone can imagine. First of all 20 hrs isn' that much, you could babysit a friend's kid and your own son for 20 hrs/wk at your or their house. there is also other assistance prog like rental assistance etc. Plus you should make your man or ex or whoever pay cs through the courts. It also depends if you can mentally and phys handle another kid right now, in the long run you might be glad you did , me and my sis were 18 mos apart, we were inseparable and watched out for each other which gave our mom more freedom later in life. GOOD LUCK

    Answer by infor2 at 9:06 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • I don't really have too many friends, none with kids anyways, and they all have jobs. I'm just really worried about leaving my very attached son in daycare, I don't think he could handle me giving attention to a new baby and him not getting all the attention

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • Whatever you decision, I wish you the very best. Either way it will not be an easy decision. Just make sure it's one you can live with...raising a child....or not raising a child.

    Answer by Southerncharmes at 9:11 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • Sweetie- you do what is best for you and the child that you already have. If you can't support him alone right now another child is just going to make it that much harder. Abortion is certainly not a form of birth control yet thing "happen" and you have a choice. No one else can make this choice for you because no one else is able to walk in your shoes or ever will. Think long and hard about what will be best for you and if at all possible talk to your Mom and/or Dad about this. Good luck and no matter what your choice is it will be the right choice for you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:12 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • Don't worry about your son he is only one he will adapt to any changes and still be happy, kids are the best at that, u could also look for daycare jobs and other small jobs through your local DHS office. Plus if you think you may want another child at one point, then why not get to it now, things may work out better than you think. Plus if you still need help i'm sure your family will still be there for you.

    Answer by infor2 at 9:15 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • You could always give the baby up for adoption. Plenty of folks waiting for a special gift but it's your choice.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • heyy this is kinda about adoption but it could still help you...well when i was preg i was goin thru a ton of problems and i never considered abortion well i thought it but neve wanted it. same goes for adoption. well i thought i could not give my baby everything she wanted bc i wasnt financially stable, so i considered 36 weeks! i was scared to death and i was considering it for the wrong reasons. but i talked to an adoption agency and the woman was an amazing person and does not push anyone to give their child up so we talked for an hour or so and i told her my situation and everything. she said hun, if you know that you can give you baby all that she deserves in love and care then please keep her, because

    Answer by Keeely07 at 9:23 PM on Nov. 30, 2008


    you never know, your financial state can change tomorrow! and she told me to follow my heart and no one else and to sit down by yourself and think...what would God want me to do with this child. and i did...and i chose to keep her. three days after she was born...i was holding her in my room and crying my eyes out bc i love this baby more than anything in the world and i would never give her up for anything. i was extremely happy for my decision. but ultimatly this is your decision and you know in your heart what you should do. i hope this helped!! best of luck!

    Answer by Keeely07 at 9:23 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • and btw everything worked out WAAAAY better than i ever thought :)

    Answer by Keeely07 at 9:24 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

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