Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

???

I have been researching adoption I was gonna go for it then put it on hold. It kinda scares me to see negitive feedback. Is there anyone who hasnt regreted it out there???

Answer Question
 
mocamomma22

Asked by mocamomma22 at 9:33 PM on Nov. 30, 2008 in Adoption

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (25)
  • Adoption is hard even when you know you're doing what is right for your baby.
    I've heard birthmoms talk about the emotions that they go through and how hard it is and my heart goes out to them.
    I've also heard birthmoms talk about how glad they chose adoption because they see the life their child has with their adoptive family.
    If you can do an open adoption with adoptive parents who REALLY are open to it then I think it's much easier. You can see how that child is for yourself, have visits, phone calls and keep contact.
    Jill42721

    Answer by Jill42721 at 9:54 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • There is alot of negativity on Cafemom regarding adoption because of birth mothers not making an informed decision. And if you want my opinion, research ALL aspects of adoption, talk to different people. Internet forums are a breeding ground for negativity whether its about adoption or politics. DO what YOU think is right. Only you know! Not none of these people on here.

    I t hink its just as wrong to try to "talk" someone into keeping a baby just as it is wrong to talk them into relinquishing. It should be the mothers choice and her choice only. I know women who considered adoption, changed their minds and regret that they did. And now a relative has to pick up their parenting slack. It does happen.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • I forgot to add that it should be the fathers choice as well. You need his signature for this to go through unless its an involuntary termination.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • I don't have any adoption advice as I would never consider it for myself, but I just wanted to say that I think adoption is a brave choice for a mother who knows that she isn't ready or capable of caring for a child. Trust yourself to make the right choice.
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 12:45 AM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • I answered your other question in depth. Please refer to that to get my take on it.
    smilinghug

    Answer by smilinghug at 1:23 AM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • There is so much negativity from some of the mom's on here. I agree with the other comment on that. If you are in a situation where you know your baby would be better off with another couple then you're one heck of a mom for choosing what's best for your baby.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:07 AM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • quote- If you are in a situation where you know your baby would be better off with another couple then you're one heck of a mom for choosing what's best for your baby.


    Would you tell my Original Mom she was 'one heck of a Mother'- because she chose adoption, and I was blessed with adoptive parents that abused me? That was NEVER her intent! They bamboozled her out of me when they promised her things they simply could not EVER guarantee and deliver.


     Moca~ please do listen to our truths as well as the others. Don't let them blindside you about the possible consequences of adoption- but only once its too late. Hear out the good- bad and ugly in adoption - simply because they are All possible.

    adopteeme

    Answer by adopteeme at 3:14 AM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • We have adopted two little girls at birth....one from foster care, one private adoption. I read on here all the these stories from birthmoms about how they lost there baby and it wasn't there choice or there fault. No one can make you give up your baby, it has to be a decision YOU make on your own. Before the baby is born, make sure you have talked to counselors, talked to adoptive parents...KNOW what kind of family you are choosing for your baby. That doesn't mean one meeting with them, it means many meetings, many conversations. Make sure YOU feel comfortable with them. If you don't, then you know that's not the right family for your baby.
    LizClara

    Answer by LizClara at 4:51 AM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • If you decide to keep her, then make sure you can afford it. You already know kids aren't cheap, and that they require alot of time and attention. You seem to know what you want to do, now it's up to YOU to make sure it's the right decision for you and your baby. BTW, where is daddy? Does he know that you are thinking of adoption? He also has to sign the papers, and if he doesn't want to, what will you do then?
    LizClara

    Answer by LizClara at 4:52 AM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • There are times when a baby is adopted and bad things happen, but there are also a lot of good situations too.

    I have known MANY MANY adoption situations that turn out wonderfully. That's why keeping contact is always a good thing.

    Find a family who is happy to do an open adoption and you'll know how your daughter is. If there is abuse, you would report it. But if a family will do a truly open adoption they aren't going to be the types to abuse a child.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:53 AM on Dec. 1, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.