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2 Bumps

Do I have the right to be mad at my boyfriends mother?

So I found out I was pregnant and my boyfriends mother is super excited and supportive, so she says. I thought we were getting along really well.

Then my boyfriends sister is having a baby shower which I attended with my boyfriends 3 year old daughter, because she loves going everywhere with me. So we get there and his mother doesn't say a single word to me the WHOLE time, until the very end.

My boyfriends grandmother was introducing me to family and says this is my grandson's girlfriend. Very quickly after saying that she says and this is my oldest grandsons girlfriend, WE LOVE HER! SHES A SWEETHEART! This really pissed me off especially because I have never been anything but nice to his family. It was like she was trying to tell me that they don't like me. It made no sense to me because my boyfriends mother was always nice and now all of a sudden his mother and grandmother are purposely being rude to me.

Every time my boyfriends daughter would get upset or cry for me my boyfriends mother would say "Come to grandma" like she didn't want her coming to me even though his daughter didn't listen to her and sat with me most the time.

So the shower is FINALLY ending and we are getting our jackets on and my boyfriends daughter asks me if she can take a balloon home with us. I nicely said no because you always get so upset when they pop and we have no more at home. She was okay with my answer UNTIL my boyfriends mother said "Why can't she have a balloon?" As she is getting ready to hand her one! UGH! So I got upset and just said fine give her one because I know you're going to anyway. I am so mad that she undermined my authority. I am like a mother to her granddaughter and she doesn't care or respect me.

I didn't do anything to her to deserve her treating me like this and I am so confused as to why she all of a sudden started acting this way towards me. When I got home from the shower she came over to see my boyfriend and his daughter for a little while longer. When she finally left I told my boyfriend what happened and he says "that doesn't surprise me, my mothers a b****."

I had an ultrasound the other day and she called my phone I am assuming to ask about how the appointment went but I didn't answer because I am still mad. So she called my boyfriend like 5 times and he didn't answer because he's mad at her for treating me like crap.

Am I overreacting about her sudden change of attitude towards me? Or do I have the right to be as mad as I am? I just really upset right now and need to know if anyone else has been in a situation like this.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Apr. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • My MIL used to treat me this way until my husband put his foot down and told her, "She is MY wife. I don't care if you disagree with what she does, you will NOT disrespect her ever again, or you will NEVER see your grandbabies again!"

    Guess what? She's been nothing but sweet and kind to me since.

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 1:53 PM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • Thanks for the reply :) Well I guess I am going to have to get my boyfriend to talk to her because she will not see my baby if she continues like this!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:59 PM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • You're pregnant.. Calm down and let it go. If everything was going so good, why would it just turn around and stay turned around without a big thing happening?? I think you shouldn't look into this any more than you have. Talk to her and let her know how you feel and if she is genuinely surprised/sorry that she was making you feel that way, then you know it wasn't intentional.

    Answer by bdflykisses at 2:01 PM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • Sounds like there is an awful lot of competition amongst all of you, and there is no clear cut favorite to win. The people who stand to lose the most are the children who have absolutely nothing to say about where or to whom they were born. That's where the focus should be--on them, and not on any of the adults who ought to know how to behave like grown-ups.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:07 PM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • I am definitely not the 'competitive' type. My boyfriends mother is and maybe she feels threatened by me with her grandchild. I have no idea. Shes a lost cause

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:13 PM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • I think when were pregnant hormones get the better of us. It doesnt sound like she hates you or loves you. Is there someone else in the family who could be talking badly about you to her? I say this as a mom of adult sons, and I love my 17 yr olds gf to death! My 18 yr old sons gf I liked for awhile and than learned some not so flattering things about her and changed my tune. Is it possible someone is telling her bad things about you?

    Answer by gemgem at 2:33 PM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • please have an open mind with the way I'm going to say this....I mean no offense but the older generation has the view that your just the girlfriend and not the wife. Back when I had my first baby I was not married and the daddy's family was well just okay with everything because we were not married...we got married and we had a second kid and they treated me as a person and a member of the family. I am divorced from them but they still treat me better then anything my ex dates.
    some older family members are just like that, they come from a different ERA, very old fashioned and traditional. They unmarried couples as not lasting and not making a"real" home by getting married.
    This is not my personal opinion this is just my observation of the generation ahead of me. I know that marriage does not make a happy baby, a loving home makes a happy baby and families come in all sorts

    Answer by alotleft2do at 2:45 PM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • it may not be you but her son she is mad at and because you are with him you are guilty by association, either way its petty on her part. dont stoop to their level though

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 3:09 PM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • I agree that maybe you're just a little more sensitive right now. I mean, how long has the other gf been around? Do they just know her better and feel comfy saying those things? Give it time, I'm sure you'll win them over too. Your bf will have to be the one to say something, if anything is ever said, if this there is more to it than just hormones. Good luck, and CONGRATULATIONS!

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 3:11 PM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • She has told me that she loves that her son has finally met someone like me and she says I'm so great with the kids and now its just all different. I have been around a lot longer than his older brothers gf but she goes up to their house every other weekend with her bf. My boyfriend and I are too busy to do that and I do feel like his mother is upset that we cant come visit as much as her oldest son.

    but yes I do think my hormones are getting the best of me right now.

    thanks for all the answers

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:42 PM on Apr. 9, 2011

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