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What can I do about lingering post-pardom depression?

My son in 18 month old, and I still have trouble with depression. It was very bad for the first year, but things have improved greatly. However, I still find myself overwhelmed with grief sometimes. I'll be fine for weeks, and then suddenly I'm crying because I can't visit a certain store because I can't bring my son there.

I was not ready to have children. My husband and I married right after college, and we were going to wait five years to start a family because we had many things we wanted to do before we were tied down. I got pregnant on our honeymoon, even though I was on the pill. Now, when I find myself suddenly overcome with grief, all I think about is the life I was supposed to have before I had my son. I love him more than life itself, but I can't let go of the life I wanted. I feel so confined that I want to scream sometimes. I need help.
Thank you for reading my story.

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Asked by french_lady at 9:50 PM on Nov. 30, 2008 in Health

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Answers (3)
  • the only thing i can suggest is talk to a doctor which i know you probably don't want to do. Just think of the life you have now with your family.I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I got pregnant at 18. So i'm married now, with a 8 month old and i'm trying to find a full time job right now while i go to college and my husband works full time as an electrician apprentice so he goes to school 2 times a week. I always thought when i had a child i would have been married first with my BSN. But things don't always work out the way we want them too. There was many many dreams i had before my son... but they were changed and i wouldn't chnage that for the world. Just keep telling yourself everyday that this is the best thing thats happened to your family =)

    Answer by krazyash023 at 9:56 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • Please know you are not alone. You need to go see your family physician. There are many meds out there that can bring joy back into your life. I know you love your son but your having a hard time right now and you need help. No shame in asking for help.

    I felt the same way when I had my first son. I was very young and watched all my friends continue on with their single/married life without kids and having fun....going to college....trips for Spring in late...going to movies....out to eat.....I really wanted to be them more often than not. Good will will find meaning and happiness in your new life. I look back now on my life and it has passed so quickly and I actually miss my kids being little. I am 37yrs old, married 19yrs, and we have two sons ages 18yrs (he's in the Air Force) and a 16yr old son. I now miss my life when the kids were little! LOL

    Answer by Southerncharmes at 10:05 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • Hey there, I just wanted to let you know that I totally understand how you feel, b/c I was just getting my life started (or so I thought) when I found out I was pregnant. If you want to talk, please feel free to message me, it sounds like we could have a lot to talk about. I definitely know how you feel.

    Answer by Iskkra at 11:25 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

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