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Is this bad for my son? kinda complicated..

Ok so me and my sons father split close to a year ago. everything was fairly easy going, it was just an "im not happy anymore" kinda thing..so it was very civil..no cheating or bad behavor. So since then, this is how weve split the time with our son..4 days a wk with mom 3 days with dad and then vice versa. He doesnt seem to be having a problem with it, but he will start preschool this year and he will be going to school near me (dad lives 20 min away) and he knows the schools are better where i live. but he has always said he refuses to be a weekend dad..so now it gets complicated i guess. so the question is is our current schedual damaging my son..and if you went through this did it eventually lead into a custody issue? we dont want to go to court..but i just wanna do whats right for my son..

Answer Question
 
AydensMommy1109

Asked by AydensMommy1109 at 3:20 PM on Apr. 9, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 13 (1,003 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • if hes not a weekend dad then he will have to drive the 20 min to drop him off n pic him up i dont think that is damaging your son at all everything sounds very civil
    kylansmommy09

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 3:24 PM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • It should be fine as long as dad knows he has to provide transportation to and from school once it starts.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 3:24 PM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • 20 minutes really isn't anything. Now, if you were talking 20 miles, that would be different.
    I don't see the problem.
    ItsJustMe1017

    Answer by ItsJustMe1017 at 3:27 PM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • the problem is school about to become a very big part of his life he cant be a 4 days a week school boy so you ex had to make a few big decisions


    1 he can move closer to yous


    2 he can have him at the weekends


    3 he can pick him right after school on a Friday and drop him of at your house or school on the Monday


    talk to your ex exsplane that at holidays you can be more flexible but you need to think long term now

    feralkitten

    Answer by feralkitten at 3:42 PM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • or he have to get his but out of bed time time every week to drop your son to school in time if he drives
    feralkitten

    Answer by feralkitten at 3:43 PM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • Just talk to him, if everything has been civil so far it sounds like you guys can have a pleasent conversation, and this is important. If he isnt willing to drive the 20 mins a few days a week then maybe you can work something else out..
    VBM7287

    Answer by VBM7287 at 7:38 PM on Apr. 9, 2011

  • If he doesn't have any concerns about the school your son will be attending then he should have no problem being able to be flexible. My son will be starting pre-k soon & we have agreed it would be best if he stood with me throughout the week so he can have a set shcedule of when he should go to bed & so on. I wouldn't want him to have 2 different routines as he will have a difficult time adjusting. Although our son will have school transportation from my house, he is entitled to pick him up from school or drop him off at school when he would like. I'm sure he will understand that it wouldn't be a "weekend visit" because he will still be able to see him during the week & also weekends if you both come to an agreement & understanding by keeping your son's best interest in mind.
    HappinessIsKey

    Answer by HappinessIsKey at 11:17 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

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