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Would you wait for a man that didn't wait for you?

I understand and respect a woman's wish to remain a virgin until married and if they do it for their own self respect I get it but wouldn't it kind of suck to wait your whole life to give up your virginity to a man who didn't save his for you? Just curious :-)

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:08 PM on Nov. 30, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • most men don't. if ur saving urself and meet someone whos not a virgin thats not a big deal. he would probably appreciate being ur first and only. but if ur both virgins and he said he would wait but then didnt and did it with someone else thats a whole other thing...

    Answer by Butterflysky_24 at 11:14 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • I don't think that should matter. If the girl chooses to keep her virginity for the man she is going to love or marry is fine, but you can't expect most men to be virgins when you meet them. I think it's great if he is willing to wait til she is ready, as long as it takes. I think that is something to be admired. Who cares who he has slept with before. That is the past.

    Answer by hopelessnance at 11:16 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • My dh lost his virginity to me, he waited to lose it to the woman he wanted to marry. I was as far from a virgin as you could get, I had a 5 year old son. But he didn't care that I wasn't, as a matter of fact he liked the fact that I "knew what to do" in the bedroom. I think it is just a matter of personal choice. Weather you are or not it is what is right now that matters most.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • I agree with Butterfly Sky, if it was something we agreed to do (remaining virgins until we felt ready to take that step) and he didn't wait I would be totally upset. I was a virgin when I met my DH, he was too. We lost "it" to each other. But I love him and even if he had been with someone else before we met I it would not have changed anything for me. It is very nice that we have that as a couple, but his virginity wasn't a requirement for me to be with him.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 11:40 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • Saving your virginity until your wedding day is amazing and a great thing! If your SO didn't that is his choice, people make dumb decisions all the time. It would definitely be great to lose it to the one you love and are going to spend the rest of your life with. I don't think that's weird at all.

    Answer by abootie at 11:58 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • Whether you wait or not is a personal choice. If you're talking about a guy that you are currently dating - you want to wait, he doesn't, so he finds someone to have sex with, then that's wrong. But, if you're talking about some mystery man down the road that you will one day date and marry, then I don't think it's fair. It's not like he chose to not wait for YOU, personally. He chose to not wait to have sex, then, later, met you. I think it's admirable that you want to wait, but that's a choice you want to make for yourself - YOU want to give your future husband this gift. If he's also made the choice to give you this gift, that's wonderful, but if not, in my opinion, this isn't something you should hold against him. It's sort of like if you were to get mad at a friend you met when you were 20, because they didn't come to your 16th birthday party...

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 11:59 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • cont

    Then again, emotions aren't always fair or reasonable. If this is something that's going to bother you that much, then I would say, yes, it's a deal breaker. Also, I'm assuming that the man in question had been sexually active, but wasn't exactly Hugh Heffnor, either - but regardless, I would expect him to be tested for STD's first...

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 11:59 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • i think it's incredibly sad that people can't seem to wait until they are married to have sex.

    Add me to that group.

    With all I know and feel now I would give anything to be a virgin when I married Dh and he feels the same. It's not a HUGE deal, I mean we both had our fair share of partners before each other...but now he's enough for me and I'd be blissfully happy if he's all I'd ever had.

    I would venture to guess that a woman who saved herself for marriage would not end up marrying a man that is a male slut...maybe a former male slut, but not someone who is currenlty all wrapped up in sex. As humans we all have *pasts* and yet we all learn from them and move on. I don't hold my husbands past before me against him just as he doesn't do the same to me.

    Who we are together is not who we were separate.

    Answer by munch12502 at 11:59 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • Neither I or my Dh were and to be honest, I've never really thought about it (or all for that matter). To me it wasn't something to worry about because we talked about things and we both got tested (for that reason) and were ok.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 AM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • I married a virgin and wouldn't have another one for anything. I'd want a guy who knew what he was doing. So no, I wouldn't want him saving himself.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:54 AM on Dec. 1, 2008

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