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How do I stop a 6 yr old girl with ADHD from stealing from her classmates, the school room and her teachers and then lying about it?

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Asked by mamamel61 at 12:07 AM on Apr. 10, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 6 (144 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • i really believe if you watch what she eats and stay away from the dyes (red 40 & yellow 5) her behavior will change.
    BUT...that is MY opinion.
    It also wouldn't hurt to try.

    Answer by ItsJustMe1017 at 12:10 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Behavior modification therapy will help her to control herslef better... However, I'm not sure that stealing is because of ADHD...

    Answer by laird6372 at 12:33 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • I don't think it is because of the ADHD, I think it is part of the acting out that she has been doing since she was molested (the correct term is fondled I guess) by the Father of one of her classmates (a neighbor) and she/ we have gone through hell with the system since then

    Comment by mamamel61 (original poster) at 1:14 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Okay, that makes more sense. I was about to say that there must be some reason she is stealing besides the ADHD... my experience is that kids steal to fill some other void in their lives. I'm sorry to hear she's had such awful experiences. Is she seeing anyone to deal with the molestation? Maybe talk to them (or to a pediatrician) for advice? In the meanwhile, try to make it clear that stealing and lying is not acceptable and will have consequences, but you love her and do not think she is a bad person for it. Maybe you can talk with the teacher to come up with some productive way for her to receive punishment... maybe she has to stay afterschool and help the teacher prepare for tomorrow's lessons (something to give her a sense of accomplishment/purpose and a chance to bond with the teacher?) Kids need consequences, but I woudn't have the heart to be too mean to a little girl who has recently gone through something really bad.

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 9:31 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • This poor child has many emotional issues besides the one I mentioned - she has abandonment issues - her Mother, her Father, her Paternal Grandfather (who took me to court for visitation and then just stopped coming), two Aunts that she was close to she lost through divorce, her Maternal Grandfather did not abandon her but has been in hospital then rehab since the end of January so she doesn't see much of him. She also lost two little brothers - her Mother (my daughter I'm ashamed to say) sent her little brother back to Idaho so she could be with a guy that was downloading child porn and of course, she doesn't see her Father's son because he was taken away from the Mother and put in Foster Care. She is/was seeing a counselor at school, I just got her back into outside counseling as the insurance company cut her off before this last incident..

    Comment by mamamel61 (original poster) at 9:53 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • I tell her several times a day that I love her and that I just don't like the things she does and I use the word naughty instead of bad because I don't want her to think she is a bad person, she has a low enough self esteem anyway because it seems as if noone wants her.

    Comment by mamamel61 (original poster) at 9:56 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Oh, honey! Poor little girl... Does her teacher know any of this? Sounds like this little girl could use as many positive adult figures as possible. I'm a big believer in giving kids "jobs" (age and situation appropriate of course) to help them build a sense of belonging and pride. Since she's getting in trouble at school, this could be a great opportunity for her to work it off with the teacher/school... If I was her teacher, I would find something little but helpful that she can do for 15 minutes before or after school and I would use that as a chance to talk and bond with her (hoping that she comes to look at school as a good and safe place).
    If the school can't help, maybe you could have her "work off" her behavior as a volunteer someplace on a regular basis. Most organizations that take volunteers are full of really kind, gracious, loving people - this would be a good thing to have in her life.
    Good luck!

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 12:23 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Her teacher knows all of this. As far as a job at school they take turns doing little jobs for the teacher so not sure that is gonna work. Not sure what she could volunteer at with the ADHD she is not able to concentrate on anything for any length of time - she was just diagnosed and med is to start tomorrow. We'll see how that goes and with the counseling go from there.

    Comment by mamamel61 (original poster) at 6:03 PM on Apr. 11, 2011

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