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2 Bumps

Have you ever been in a abusive relationship?

I was married to an abusive man for 13 years and he controlled everything. I had no family to help me and my two children. I finally got my freedom, but it was a difficult thing to do. How did you deal with life during that time?

 
TwinkleLites

Asked by TwinkleLites at 12:11 AM on Apr. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,287 Credits)
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Answers (12)
  • Yes I left him
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:13 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • yes i was in a realtionship with a man i saw to be the love of my life, met his when i was 15 and left him when i was 20 right before my 21st bday...i was with him and the abuse didnt start till about 3 years into in...i hated life and well i always fought back when he did what he did.. it wasnt easy to walk away but i did it i figure i didnt have to deal with this man and i would find happiness in a real man and be happy.
    anayasmommy21

    Answer by anayasmommy21 at 12:18 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • I was married to one for about 7 months. He wasn't like that before but not even a week after we got married it started. I couldn't believe it! I ended up making some good friends online that would help me out while he was at work (he wouldn't let me leave the house). Eventually I told his chain of command and they kept him confined to the barracks while I moved out. They made sure he cooperated with a quick divorce. Very happy to have my kids and I out of that situation... I lost a lot of personal things due to him breaking or burning them.
    bdflykisses

    Answer by bdflykisses at 12:20 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Yes after 6 years I couldn't take it anymore. I did things I never thought I was capable of doing. I have to say if it weren't for a Judge with his eyes wide open I don't know what would have happened. He saw right through him, and kept him away from me long enough for me to get things taken care of legally. The best day of my life was the day I knew he wasn't coming home, and couldn't. It was like a weight was lifted....
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 12:35 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Glad you found your freedom...I'm sorry you had to wait until death took him.

    I felt tied to an abusive man for 7 years. I'm happy to say I left...but I wish I had left sooner. I stayed as long as I did because I felt like I could protect the children better. If I stayed, he would never get the children alone...If i left, the court would automatically give him unsupervised access....so it took me two years to get all my ducks in a row so-to-speak....I kept notes, involved CAS, office of the children's lawyer etc....I saved money and I waited for 3 years to claim taxes (the longest possible time period legally) so that it was a lump sum I could have when I left...and it was a considerable amount that kept me going for a while. I had 3 children with special needs, fought him tooth and nail in court and he got supervised access for 3 hours a month, to which he finally walked away from ! The divorce will be final in May.
    FXmomTo3

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 12:38 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • @ shynu....you said you still react to certain sounds w fear in my heart....me too !!! My ex was a truck driver...I still run to the window when I hear a truck for fear it's him !
    FXmomTo3

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 12:40 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Good for you! I'm always happy to hear someone with a happy ending! Keep strong and live life to the fullest without losers!
    TwinkleLites

    Comment by TwinkleLites (original poster) at 12:15 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Ladies you are all very strong and I am very proud of the actions you took to get a better life. Mine also was a charmer until we tied the knot. He slowly started trying to control everything, moved our cars and other items into his name and made sure all the money was in his name. I worked odd jobs to save up enough money to leave and someone told him. I finally got my freedom from the abuse when he passed away. Felt bad he died young (I didn't kill him...cancer did), but I was glad to be free and so were my children.
    TwinkleLites

    Comment by TwinkleLites (original poster) at 12:25 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Yes. Deal w my life? I didn't have one. Lol I stayed home, cleaned, got accused of everything! He took my keys. Made me lose my job early in the relationship. It was a nightmare! It's taken a lot to recover from. I still react to certain sounds w fear in my heart, but I try my hardest not to show it. I literally ran from the guy & left all my belongings behind while pregnant.
    shynu

    Answer by shynu at 12:35 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Mine followed/looked for me for a while. There were times in the beginning I would hear bass, look outside & he was cruising by. I called the cops every time! He's disappeared now, but still cannot tolerate people bassing their stereos without my hair standing on my arms.
    shynu

    Answer by shynu at 12:45 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

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