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Kids listening to their friends instead of family about drug abuse? sorry if its long

my niece has been drinking and doing drugs since she turned 18, for the last week shes had chest pain and me and the rest of the family has told her to quit....she never listened.....so today she puts it in her facebook status, and her friends comment on it heres the conversation

her friend:"When did it start? After you started all the crap you've been doing cuz if so then knock it off and see if anything changes"

niece:"No. Its not that. It started just a week ago and I've started this crap about one and a half months ago :p"

her friend:"-.- still knock the shit off and see if it stops.....I don't give a shit if its fun I don't give a shit of someone wants you to do it don't do it for a month and if you feel better LEAVE IT ALONE AND DON'T DO IT ANYMORE "

niece:"Whatever u say mommy... Xp"

her friend:"Do you seriously want to go to the hospital and have to have heart surgery or worse in a black bag and put into a freezer?"

niece:"I don't even need to answer that."

her friend:"Exactly so just stop and see if your pain stops....if it doesn't then go check and see if you have a hole in your heart....yes drugs and drinking can do that"

niece:"K, I will."

her friend:"I just don't want you to go through that...your one of my best friends and I would be really sad if either one of those happened to you"

niece:"K. And thanx."

her friend:":) I just want you safe "

and then they just talk about stuff after that......what would you do if your kids (i raised my niece) did that? or if your going though that what are you doing?

the reason why this is annoying to me is because the friend commenting on her status only knew her for 9 months and then moved away, the girl is now pregnant and 18 and lives at her dads house

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:21 AM on Apr. 10, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (13)
  • You can buy a home drug test and use it. I'm not sure how accurate they are though.You can look them up online. Or you can take her to the doctor and let them do it. Just tell her you feel something is wrong, like" you look pale", I think it would be a good idea for a checkup." Just don't tell her the real reason you are taking her or you may have a fight on your hands.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:34 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • oh no we dont need to do a drug test on here because she doesnt hide what she does
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:36 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • her*
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:37 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • I wouldn't exactly judge the other girl!! She is doing what you couldn't. Sometimes it takes a peer and not a voice of authority to get through to teens. You are very lucky that your niece has a friend her age that cares about her like that no matter how long she's known her. Most other teens would look the other way or encourage her to do more than she's already doing. I hate to say this, but when it comes down to it... drinking and doing drugs at 18 (which is illegal) is WAY worse than being pregnant at 18!
    bdflykisses

    Answer by bdflykisses at 12:41 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • her friend has no room to talk in my opinion since she has done it all at the age of 10 and stopped at 14...not to mention the girls "baby daddy" has done everything a probably still does
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:47 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Time for some new friends in my opinion. Teens are notoriously influenced by their peers, i.e. peer pressure. So, this really isn't too surprising. However, just because the teens do not really respond does not mean they are not listening to their parents. If I were the girl's parent, I would continue to talk to her and try to influence her. I would take her to a doctor as well.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 12:51 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • *I* am my nieces parent....im guessing you didnt read the post
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:58 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • It's incredibly common for teens to drink and use drugs these days it's pretty much a right of passage. That DOES NOT make it "OK" in any shape or form. Like another person stated, Teens are far more interested in fitting in and listening to their friend's opinions rather than parents. There are a lot of reasons people start using drugs/drinking....You might wanna evaluate her mental state, get her to counseling....before you judge her and condemn her.
    kazmia

    Answer by kazmia at 2:58 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Although it may seem she does not listen to her family, the point is she has a problem. Is she willing to try and get help? she may have some deep emotional issues that cause her pain and drinking and drugs help to numb that pain. is she willing to go to a rehab? getting the help she needs is most important. she needs to know it is okay to come to you and talk about how she feels. she needs your love and support and hopefully she will want to change her life around.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 10:10 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • her friend scared her enough to make her stop i guess because she didnt do anything last night after they talked, i respect her friend for getting my niece to stop but we'll see how long it lasts....i asked her why she didnt do anything last night all she said was "if i do and Liz (her friends name is liz) finds out when she comes down here she'll kick my ass"
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:54 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

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