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Does anyone have a spouse with Bipolar disorder???

My husband has never had an official diagnosis but I'm fairly sure that he's Bipolar. I'm not a psychiatrist so I could be wrong but I have a hunch. If he's not Bipolar there's still something mentally wrong with him. He needs help. I can't take his mood swings anymore. For instance a few days ago he loved me so much and wanted to spend time with me and was super sweet and considerate. Now he won't utter more than 2 words to me if I ask him a question and he acts like he doesn't even want to be in the same room with me. He's also lost interest in sex. I love him with my whole heart and I know I said vows to stand by him for better or for worse, in sickness and in health (I'm assuming that includes mental health) but I can't take anymore. I'm getting anxiety attacks over it and I'm absolutely crushed that hes acting so cold towards me. We have a 1 year old son together and I can't let this start effecting him. I'm just kind of lost. I've never brought up to my husband that I think he may be Bipolar and I'm not sure how to bring it up and have calm conversation about it without upsetting him. I don't know what the right words are to say. I just need some advice and I'd like to hear from other women who are married to men with Bipolar disorder and hear about their experiences so I don't feel so alone with this. Also if you believe in God please pray for me, my husband and my little boy. I want so badly to keep my family together if possible. If anyone knows of a good support group on here let me know.

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Asked by Court128 at 12:26 AM on Apr. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Level 12 (748 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I have bipolar. It is really hard and DH has a really hard time with my mood swings...I didn't go to the doctor until DH said he would leave if I didn't. I am just starting trying to find a med that works for me. I am sorry you are going through all of this. I am not sure what to tell you. Also most people with bipolar will not admit they have it so it may take a while for your DH to get help. If you love him stick it out and try to back off during his mood swings until you can convince him to seek help. If you have any questions please feel free to ask!


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:31 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • I have Bipolar Disorder...if that is what he has (and it kind of sounds like he does from your description) it is EXTREMELY hard to control your emotions without medication...and 15% of people with it, unless they are being helped, attempt suicide at some point in their life...I have attempted it 4 times....IF this is what he has, he needs to get some help.. Good luck mama and I will definatly pray for you

    Answer by Lucky209 at 12:33 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • My husband was bi-polar and his episodes would suddently appear without any incident. For example, we were enjoying a dinner, laughing and having fun and suddenly he stood up threw the plate of food on the floor and knocked me out of my chair. Within a few minutes he was back to his old normal self and didn't remember acting that way. If your husband is moody for longer periods of time he is more likely depressed. Nagging or questioning him is the last thing you should do. Better to give him some room and just go about life normally in a happy moood. Depressed people just need to know things are okay, so just act the same way you would in any good day. If he yells, simple say "hmm" and talk about something else. Don't let him know you are avoiding his yelling, he will figure it out. As for loss of sex drive, depression does that big time. Best thing you can do is just enjoy life no matter how someone else acts.

    Answer by TwinkleLites at 12:33 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Thanks ladies. It could also be that he's just severely depressed. Like I said, I'm no psychiatrist. There were a few reasons I thought he was Bipolar. When he's in a good mood, it's almost like he's on a high. He also makes impulsive decisions frequently and he SUCKS with budgeting our money (I've taken that job over). My family hates the way he's treating me and they're pretty mad at him but at the same time they're being supportive of me and have told me if I want to stick it through until he gets the help he needs they're behind me 100%. I know if things get really bad my mom and step dad would be more than happy to take my son temporarily so things don't effect him and he could be in a stable household until my husband gets in therapy and on the right medication. I hate to hand my baby over but I fully trust my mom and if it's for his own good I'll do it in a heartbeat.

    Comment by Court128 (original poster) at 12:41 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • my husband is bipolar also.... small things tick him the wrong way... but he interupts alot of things the wrong way... but yes he needs medication and therapy.... i wouldnt reccommend handing your son off unless he is in danger... my husband watches our 2 full time while i work and he does an amazing job.... praise for something he does really well.... it will help overcome the negative in his mind... good luck and i hope all is well

    Answer by kasara2 at 12:57 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • So far my husband has been great with our son and I know he loves him more than life. I just don't know how bad all this is going to get before it gets better. Handing him over would be a last resort. I would only do it if I noticed my husband taking his emotions out on our son or if I noticed it effecting his behavior. I would rather him be away from me and be in a loving, stable environment than be with me and live in a house of chaos. His little brain is a sponge right now and he picks up on everything.

    Comment by Court128 (original poster) at 1:08 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • My DH was diagnosed bipolar shortly before we separated (there were many reasons we split) I couldn't take his mood swings any more and it was affecting our 5 year old Granddaughter (of whom I have custody). It took me a long time to convince him that he needed medication and he was agreeable to start counseling before he left. He never did start due to an accident that hosptalized him. Your DH needs medication and counseling but it will be many difficult conversations and anger on his part before he does. God bless and good luck to you.

    Answer by mamamel61 at 11:52 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Well my husband asked me for a divorce today.

    Comment by Court128 (original poster) at 12:38 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • I believe my husband has it but he refuses to see a doctor for it.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:04 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

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