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From SAHM to single mom

I have been a SAHM since the birth of my daughter 9 months ago. I love it, I cannot imagine being anything else, but due to finding out my DH cheated on me last week, I am leaving him and have to get a job to support myself and DD.
Anyone else had to transition from SAHM to single mom?
I am so hurt, depressed and angry. I dont want to put DD in daycare, but I dont really have anyother choice.
Any advice would help out.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on Nov. 30, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • If you aren't willing or able to salvage your marriage then you have to do what you have to do. Life as a single mom will not be easy. The luxury of staying home and being sole caregiver to your daughter is now gone. It sucks but the sooner you can accept that the easier it will be on you.

    9 months is a hard age to get into daycare automatically. Call around to daycares and see what the wait time is and how much it's going to cost you. Get an appointment with DHS to see if you can qualify for childcare and medicaid or even rent or food stamps. Anything they can help out with until you get on your feet will help. It might be best if you can cohabitate the home for awhile until you have some money, a job and everything else lined up.

    He cheated on you, he put you in this situation so make sure that he is financially fulfilling his duties to you and your DD.
    munch12502

    Answer by munch12502 at 11:53 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • Are u sure u can't save your marriage?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • I am very sure I cannot save it. He is not taking responsibility for his mistakes and I cannot stay with someone who thinks he was not wrong to cheat on me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • what an a**hole im not a single mom but im a sahm. i think what your doing is right and if you have to put the her in daycare so you cant make a living you should thats what my mom did with us . except she was a single mother of 3 but she still managed. i would probably do the same if i was in your position.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • I applaud you for having the confidence to make this change for you and your daughter. Daycare is NOTHING to frown on. It actually teaches your child to socialize with other kids. Just take your time and shop around for the right one. You may even meet other single moms and develop a great rapport with them. Take it from me, you can do this and be a great Mom. Many women have done it. Good luck.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 12:19 AM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • men can be stupid. It happens. They sometimes cheat. If it's something he will give up then I think you should consider what is best for you and your child. Make HIM take care of you. My h cheated on me and I made him pay every stinking bill and food and gas until I could save all my money up to move out. I didn't let him touch me that entire time either and it was a long time! We tried counseling but he was also abusive so I didn't stay. I got out but you might want to calm down and stay. At least stay a while and think more clearly when you are not so upset.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:00 AM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • you may be able to get enough $ from him through alamony so that you can continue to be a SAHM< after all he accustomed yout to that life style. Look into it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 AM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • u have a lot of courage to be doing what ur doing! being cheated on is the ultimate betrayal especially if he shows no regret. make him pay for everything u possibly can. u r so brave to be going out and earning a living to care for ur daughter.
    Butterflysky_24

    Answer by Butterflysky_24 at 1:13 AM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • I did it. It is hard, but you have to do what you think is best. Don't put her in just any daycare. Do some research, go in and check them out. Make him move out. You keep the house. Unless you need to move in w/ family in order to leave him (see if someone can help you pay rent/mortgage first). See what kind of financial assistance you can get to help you until you get a decent job (food stamps, cash assistance, child care assistance). You may have to file for divorce first to prove he is out of the home when you apply for assistance; I'm not sure. Get a court order that says he only gets visitation or whatever and provide a copy to the daycare so he can't pick your daughter up without your permission, unless you're sure he wouldn't try to take her. Good luck!
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:38 AM on Dec. 1, 2008