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2 Bumps

Why doesn't my DD want to be around my fiance?

My DD is 5. My fiance (30) and I have been together for 2 years and live together (have for a year now). In September my DD and I moved to Cali to be closer to family and my fiance was coming in Dec after the school semester was up. For the 3 months he was there and we were here, my DD and I lived with my parents. After my fiance came he moved in with my parents as well until about a month ago when we went and got our own house again. Since we moved out of my parents house, my DD has been really emotional. I'm worried my mother may be putting crazy stuff in her head (shes my babysitter) because my mother likes to 'stir things up'. She has a tendency to magnify small problems and beat people down so that she can come back and be the savior, but i've never seen her involve my child in her BS. Today, my fiance went to pick my DD up, because he was off work before I was, and my DD threw an insane fit. She was sobbing and freaking out, I couldn't even get her to talk to me on the phone, she absolutely refused to go with him. He has picked her up many times before and we've never has this issue. So I went to get her and I talked to her. She said nobody is hurting her or being mean to her. She did say that she wanted it to be just me and her that lived here. I asked her why and the only thing she is is "I don't know" and "He puts the music on too loud" and "I just wanted you to pick me up mom". I trust my fiance not to hurt her in anyway, but he isn't the most 'kid-friendly' person. he doesn't have children of his own and is still learning, after 2 years, to have patience. He is a little more demanding of her and hard on her then I am, but not in ridiculous ways. Any idea what may be going on?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:48 AM on Apr. 10, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (3)
  • Try to come up with special things for them to do together, but be there with her. Maybe try just you being the one to tell her what to do for awhile until they form that relationship? I mean if she's in harms way than yeah he needs to tell her what do, lol, but maybe just have him be a playmate for awhile? Good Luck, Sweetie. I know its hard.

    Answer by loudnproud87 at 2:59 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • After two years your fiance should now be alittle more kid friendly. AFter two years with a child that is growing up with this man I'd be suggesting parenting classes. Your little girl has been threw a lot of changes lately and is probably feeling pretty insecure right now. For whatever reasons she is not feeling safe and comfortable with your fiance. I believe this is an adult issue and as stated above your fiance needs to take some parenting classes if after two years he still isnt "kid-friendly". How long does it take? He is hard on her? IM probably not being fair because I dont know you your fiance or your daughter but if it was me.......I'd want to know why my daughter was so uncomfortable with your fiance.

    Answer by mistynights234 at 8:13 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • I don't think I'd be living with a guy that's "demanding" and "hard" on my 5 yo. JMO.
    She's your daughter, right now this man is NOTHING to her. YOU pick her up. You're her mom.

    Answer by MamaMia9999 at 10:06 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

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