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5 Bumps

Biracial issue ...

My husband is half black and half white ... His mom is white and after she got pregnant his bio dad left, he was raised by the man she married who was also white.... My husband actually looks more like a guy with a deep tan , he has brown hair and green eyes ...

I am white , and so our children look white with a tan ( not as dark as my husband) ... they have light green eyes like me, and my son has light brown straight hair... my daughter does have big curly hair that I guess would look more "black" , and sometimes will even turn into a "fro shape" , however I had hair similar to that growing up because I have super thick - curly hair ( until i started straightning it in jr. high, not it wont hardly curl lol) ...


We live in a small country town 98% white ( there is also another "mixed family" however they are alot darker than our family) , my husband has always checked the "caucasian" box when filling out papers.... we do the same for our children ....

I was recently asked what race my children specify as ... and I was " i guess white" ... because besides checking the box when filling out forms, it has never any kind of issue and has never been brought up........ however this person thought my children would be missing out on their heritage by not "making them more black" .... I am not exactly sure what they meant or even think that is right... I mean my oldest is 4, and it isnt like we are teaching them "white stuff" .... I mean honestly, my husband and I are a whole lot of things ( I am native american, irish, german, etc and besides african american he also has some irish and german in him) ... I mean we dont really teach our kids any of those things either , so how is this different ?

This is a person I have to see and talk to almost everyday...... how would you respond to this or even think about it ?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:49 AM on Apr. 10, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (16)
  • I would just say you've always wanted your children to live life to the fullest & you were completely unaware of holding them back in anyway.&, you appreciate the input.
    shynu

    Answer by shynu at 2:02 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • I would tell them you are just raising them w love and to be happy not based on sterotypes of what a race should be taught. My kids are also mixed b&w (look mexican) and we let them explore all sorts of things.
    KRob85

    Answer by KRob85 at 2:17 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Is the person that said that black ? I know a lot of ppl refer to biracials as "black" and if they say that are white instead of black, that means they are ashamed of being black. My sister had a friend that was biracial (very light skin like your kids. You wouldn't even know he had black in him) and he was raised by his white mother. All the black people at his school didn't like him bc he was "too white" and was "ashamed" of being black because he always referred to himself as "white" My mother also baby sits a little girl thats 2 yrs old. I didn't even know she was biracial until I saw her father that is biracial himself. They call her black. I think it just depends on whatever you prefer. I agree with you. Why teach them their black roots if you aren't going to teach them about any of the others?
    loudnproud87

    Answer by loudnproud87 at 4:07 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • just tell them you love your kids.
    juni21

    Answer by juni21 at 4:11 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • I don't see her point. How is checking off a box, or not, going to make a person miss out on their heritage? That will only happen, if you, the parent, allows it.

    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 2:16 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Some people think that just because a child has a teeny bit of black in their family then they should be shouting from the rooftops that they are black. Just let them live, check the white box and ignore those ignorant comments.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 3:08 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Most "black" people don't know their own "heritage." All some of them know is they MAY have descended from slaves but, they don't really know.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 3:10 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Near as I can tell between you and your hubby your kid's are 3/4 white and only 1/4 black. What heritage are they missing out on? Talking ghetto like? learning to rob, cheat steal, and deal drugs? Wear pants down around their crotch? be irresponsible when they are adults and get a girl preggo and run away? Some black people feel that their heritage is the ONLY heritage and ways you teach your kid's and NOT any other kind. Likewise with some blacks being very upset a white girl took a good black man. Science has proven mixed race people have much stronger DNA and less DNA related diseases in their offspring than one race only kid's. If your friends meant the history of black people and slavery your kid's will learn all about that in school and history classes. I think the questions she asked you were IGNORANT and rude and just OUT OF LINE!
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 4:06 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • I am half white and half black I have pale blue eyes but my skin is fairly dark. I look biracial my dad always said I was the perfect mix of white and black.lol My husband is pale with blue eyes and blond hairl. Our oldest looks just like my father very dark he has pale blue eyes so it always throws people off.lol My middle son is like me he looks biracial he also has blue eyes. My daughter is pale like my husband with blond hair and she has blue eyes too. People don't believe she is my biological daughter and assume we adopted her. If you look past color and look at our facial features she looks just like me. I am curious what our new baby will look like when he or she is born in the fall. My sons think it is will be a girl and she will be white like their sister.

    I had another daughter who passed away 10 years ago she was very pale with blond hair and blue eyes. So who knows.lol
    FricknFrack

    Answer by FricknFrack at 6:21 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Sorry I never answered your question.lol I check black for my boys and white for my daughter. I check black for myself.
    FricknFrack

    Answer by FricknFrack at 6:22 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

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