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2 Bumps

Upset with my parents

yesterday my husband and his friend went to walmart to get some stuff for the BBQ we had. while there he picked up a rapunzel (sp) barbie doll for her since her favorite movie right now is Tangled. i'll admit it was out of the blue and a big surprise since my husband is quite the penny pincher and thinks they have too many toys as it is. but it was a lovely surprise for her and she has been playing with it constantly.

so anyway i was on the phone with my mom last night and told her about it, and the first thing she asked was "why"? then proceeded this morning to tell me "when someone does something out of character you have to wonder why" and i was pretty insulted. yes, my husband has a history of aggressive behavior, he is dealing with unresolved PTSD issues from his 15 month tour in iraq in 07-08. but he's been seeing a therapist and getting much better. his behavior was emotional and NEVER physical. he just wasn't able to control his temper and would sometimes lash out at the kids. but he is getting better and truly just bought the barbie out of kindness. so for my parents to insinuate that he must've yelled at her or hurt her in some way and then went and bought her a barbie to make up for it is offensive!

im sure their intentions are good but i wish they would keep thoughts like that to themselves. they know if something was going on i would tell them. we're having a family get together at my house today and after our conversation this morning i just feel sad and angry at the same time. i always feel uneasy when they come over too because i feel like they are searching for signs of abuse or something. i wish they would just accept that my husband made mistakes in the past and is trying his hardest to rectify them.

 
tnm786

Asked by tnm786 at 10:04 AM on Apr. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • Sounds like your Mom has allot of unresolved issues. She's entitled to her opinion I guess. Your DH is in therapy and this is probably the reason he did something nice for your DD. DONT let your Mom get you to read anything into it.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 10:08 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • She's your mom. She will ALWAYS be your mom. In her own little world, she is trying to protect her baby and grandbabies. Its going to take HER some time to get over the fact that your husband IS getting help and IS getting better. Might I suggest maybe when your husband goes in for therapy, that your mom go with to see and talk with the therapist and just see how far he's come? And maybe she's been through something similar she's never mentioned, and she's just afraid he might "relapse" and really hurt you guys.

    BTW, that was a very awesome thing your husband did for your daughter :D It made me smile.
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 11:03 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Shake it off and know they will need time to see the differences. Don't let them ruin your good time today or the kind act of getting the doll
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 10:29 AM on Apr. 10, 2011