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I am going to change!!! A bit of a vent

I am the type of person that is always there for others. I will drop things I am doing to help someone else. I am supportive of my DH in his crappy job, even though it leaves me to be pretty much a single mother who also works full time. I never complain to him or others about it. I help my sister all the time and I even try to be nice to my ex husband even though it kills me. I help others at my job and wind up rushing to get my own work done.
All this has gotten me in life is being shit on by others and life in general. I see women who are complete bitches get everything in life handed to them.
Do you think my luck would change if I change myself into one of those bitches? I'm tired of being the nice guy and not getting anything in return.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on Apr. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I know how you feel. I say that but I realize three things they have it because of people like us two becoming like them will make things better but it will ruin your karma, third its hard to live like that when you work for what you have. I know its hard but you have to believe your ship is coming in it will get better.

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:59 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • If you expect something in return for doing all those "considerate" things.....you probably aren't going to get anything....You have to put yourself first...but without hurting those around you...IMHO you should be supportive of your hubby's job...economic times are hard enough as it is...as for your co workers...hell no stop doing there work, get yours done first, then if you have time help them.... be there for your sister but don't let it interfere with your life...put yourself and hubby and kids first...then all the rest are second...good luck
    kitchenwitch78

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 11:00 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • You don't have to turn into one of those bitches to have things change. Learn to say no and do what is best for you first. Learn to say sorry, I'm not free or I'm not available..........whatever is in your comfort zone to say. Practice out loud if you have too. Pick and choose what things you can and cannot help with. GL
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 11:05 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • You dont have to be a bitch about it. You just NEED to learn how to say "NO I cant help you" and stick to it. Being a doormat for others is a common thing in life fopr some people. But you have to WANT to change and be able to follow through. You CAN do anything you put your mind to ya know.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 11:07 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Im sorry mommy (((HUGS))) i woulnt say be a bitch but maybe take some time for yourself and maybe talk to your fam about how you are feeling and tell them you want them to help YOU somtimes
    kylansmommy09

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 11:10 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Read up on being assertive, take some classes (you'll welcome the distraction), take a weekend get-a-keway if possible. You sound totally stressed and maybe you should take some time to yourself, stop over-extending yourself, you have to take care of you, cause believe me girl no one else can take care of you like you. Nah... you don't have to become a bitch, but learning how to say no would probably be a good idea... Good luck.
    JaniceMc27

    Answer by JaniceMc27 at 11:13 AM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Taking the assertive approach really helps.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 1:05 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • I just read What Happy Women Know by Dan Baker. You might like it. Your library should have it.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 1:47 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • I know how you feel too, it sounds like me, you might be a bit of a ppl pleazer and some ppl will take advantage of that, because they think that you are weak for wannting to make other ppl happy before you.
    stitchintime

    Answer by stitchintime at 3:33 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • No.. There is no need to become a bitch and lower yourself.. Just learn to say 'no' in firm but polite way and leave it at that..
    Obi.Ren.Kenobi

    Answer by Obi.Ren.Kenobi at 5:09 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

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