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Terrible Twos???

Okay so my daughter will be 2 in three weeks, since she learned to say "NO" was when it all started she's hitting, being disrespectful by spitting and laughs when I put her in time out. I don't know if this is what she is learning from daycare or what because she has to see it from somewhere point is...Is it a normal terrible two thing and if not what should I do to stop this now before it's too late???

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Asked by Kaleena8108 at 1:41 PM on Apr. 10, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 5 (77 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Does she stay in the time out spot? If so, ignore the laughing and continue to do it. Try to anticipate when she will hit and firmly hold her arm and tell her no hitting. Same with the spitting. Do it calmly and matter of fact. (Do all the discipline calmy and matter of fact) You might want to make her your big helper for all sorts of things around the house so she is interacting with you more. She can help swiffer, load the dryer and dishwasher, help feed a pet, etc so she feels special. Also make sure she is getting positive attention from you and praise when she does things right. Lots of times kids go for the negative attention when they do not get enough positive attention. GL

    Answer by elizabr at 2:16 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Yes, this is normal behavior for a two year old. The biggest thing about this age is they are beginning to assert their independence. Things that really helped in my family were to let my kids start choosing their own clothes. Jeans or sweat pants, red shirt or green, purple socks or blue. Yes, she will come up with some VERY interesting combinations, but who cares? she's dressed right? My daughter is 4 and two of her absolute favorite outfits make me shudder when I see them. 1) Olive/khaki sweatpants, varied brightly colored t-shirts and socks, and a salmon colored knit sweater. 2) bright neon pink sweatpants and sweatskirt, royal blue t-shirt, varied colored socks and/or sweatshirt.

    Make clear boundaries with predictable consequences and she SHOULD settle down.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 2:16 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Thank you so much for the advice I feel like maybe shes lonely and bored and thats why she does what she does to get attention but on the same note I feel like maybe she is a little too young to understand the meaning of attention.

    Comment by Kaleena8108 (original poster) at 2:20 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Two year olds get really frustrated and don't exactly know what to do with that frustration. Where you'd be frustrated and want to hit someone, you have the self control and the coping skills to not do it. Two year olds completely lack impulse control. They'll get it, but it'll be a while coming. In the meantime, you can help teach her not to hit. Typically, removing a two year old from whatever it is that is ticking them off or distracting them is the best move. She isn't too young for you to say, "I know you're mad, but you cannot hit." At that age, we taught my daughter to stomp her foot instead of hitting. It was just a small step toward controlling herself. As she got older, we taught her the words for what she was feeling so she could tell us instead of just showing us. Try to be calm and understanding. Let her see that proper expressions of anger get much better results from you. And remember it is only a phase.

    Answer by fancyjane at 2:36 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • She won't understand the meaning of attention. But parents do. And know that she needs it to thrive and be happy just like allof us. Give yourself a little too while you are at it.........a good book, nice cup of tea, hot bath, whatever gives you a little peace!

    Answer by elizabr at 2:39 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • my dd is a very strong willed child and it started at 2 and shes almost 3. I found even if she didnt understand me I explained why not to hit, spit, ect...she also thought timeout was a joke so when I do time out i make her touch her nose to the wall so she cant play with her shoe laces, the heater vent, my plant or anying else. all of a sudden timeout was no longer funny. I also do not talk to her at all while shes in timeout, if she gets out I just escort her back to her spot with no eye contact. This took a while to sink in for her but now works like a charm

    Answer by scanamey77 at 3:29 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • This is typical behavior for that age, they do not understand how to properly express themselves. Just try to ignore the behavior you don't wish to continue. If you don't react to it, it will stop. Also, be consistent, mixed messages from you will only cause more confusion for them. It can be difficult when you are going through it but, it will pass, just like every other phase they go through.

    Answer by Kelly502 at 7:14 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

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