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2 Bumps

So frustrated, husband and I arguing lately!!!

My husband and I have been been married for almost a year. And we love each other very much and we don't believe in divorce so that's not an issue. But lately we've been arguing about everything,like everything he does drives me crazy and I'm very high strung,get it from my mom, and I get mad at everything lol. It's driving us both crazy I dunno what to do about it like seriously everytime he does something that bothers me I go off and start yelling and then it gets him mad and he says I'm nit picky. I dunno what to do help?!?!?!!!!

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bellaambru90

Asked by bellaambru90 at 1:59 PM on Apr. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Level 12 (842 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • First of all, take a DEEP breath. Whenever he does something to tick you off, go into another room, count to 10, and try your best to calm down. Then look at it...do I really need to get pissed, or am I just reacting? Then if it is something that needs to be discussed, talk with him about it ;)

    Good luck!
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 2:02 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • He also says I complain to much....I feel like such a bad person...and this is how I was when I was in middle and high school I was like that to my mom and then I mt my husband and now I'm like that to him ever since we got married whats wrong with me?!?!
    bellaambru90

    Comment by bellaambru90 (original poster) at 2:03 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Well, it takes time to adjust to being married, but talk things over always. Don't hold pent up frustrations. You might want to look at the book Relationship Rescue by Phil McGraw. It is supposedly very good. You can browse a good bookstore and take a look at it. Don't know if your library might have it. GL
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 2:03 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Sound like you guys need a vacation and need to get away from the routine of everyday life. Whenever dh and I start getting annoyed with each we know that a date night is in order. You just need to get away from the stress of life and enjoy each other.
    JamieLK

    Answer by JamieLK at 2:03 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • You are the only one in control of how you feel, how you react to the outside world and what goes through your mind and comes out of your mouth. Saying you get your high strung ness from your Mom is a cop out excuse for allowing yourself to act the way you do. Sounds like you have control issues and what everything your own was 100% of the time. There's a very good reason behind the saying...."pick and choose your battles" Your issues as to how the hubby acts may really be just petty things and not worth getting upset about, but you do anyways in your effort to contol him.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 2:04 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • The 1st year of marrige can be quite an eye opener. Dont know if you lived together before you got married or not, but seeing how someone lives & getting used to their quirks can take some time to get adjusted. Since you know you are "nit picking", try to say what you'd say to him, under your breath. You're still getting it off your chest, w/out starting an argument. Until you get him "trained", you may just have to deal w/ going behind him back to do things the way you want them done. (For instance, I always rearrange the dishwasher!) :) GL!
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 2:05 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Sounds to me you are stressed and it is getting to you, but don't take it out on him, because arguments is all you will get. I would sit down and write him a letter explaining how you feel and why, get it all out and then ask him to do the same, this practice is very therapeutic, not to mention effective.
    older

    Answer by older at 2:15 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • You could use some help controlling your impulses. Before you speak, every time, on the phone, to a neighbor, to your husband, etc, think first. Rehearse in your head what you plan to say and make sure you aren't giving in to the impulse to treat your husband unkindly. Yoga or tai chi might also help you with controlling yourself. As Vbruno says, don't let "well that's the way I am" be an excuse. You can change.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 2:20 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • You need to pick ur battles. Not every issue needs to be fought about. My husband and i fought all the time also. I got to the point that i was tired of fighting and started choosing what needed to be talked about and it has been alot better at home.
    ahuey1372

    Answer by ahuey1372 at 2:23 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • I am very stressed lately between finishing up school,trying for our first baby,saving money up to get a house, trying to gain weight it's just been very stressful and I'm not good at handling stress to be honest,I'm very young I'm only 20 so it's extra hard I guess you would say
    bellaambru90

    Comment by bellaambru90 (original poster) at 2:24 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

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