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Feelin very smothered

I have fallen in a pattern of being readily available to everyone all the time. I have a dd who is almost 3 yrs and 7 months pregnant with my second. I am constantly agreeing to play dates, babysitting my friends kids and doing favors for everyone...its starting to be very tiring and its effecting my fam. so I have started telling people I need my space and need to slow down and cant be there all the time for anyone but my fam. I have been met with alot of resistance and most of my friends assume they are exempt from this request because I would never think it was them overwhelming me. How do I get this message across loud and clear without hurting anyones feelings or making them feel like they have done something wrong? alot of my friends keep telling me they are gonna be at my house everyday when baby comes to help and hold baby and I DONT want anyone at my house everyday I dont need help, I am very private and want my space for just me my hubby and dd. Am I the only one who deals with this and feels this way? I am finding hard to tell people no:(

 
scanamey77

Asked by scanamey77 at 5:04 PM on Apr. 10, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 9 (333 Credits)
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Answers (3)
  • You need to read the BOUNDARIES book by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend. Just say "no" on an individual basis for right now, but read the book. It will help you understand why you have such a hard time setting and enforcing boundaries across the board.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:16 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Thank you I just ordred this book any help will be good:)
    scanamey77

    Comment by scanamey77 (original poster) at 5:34 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • I was you not long ago. Then about a year ago I started having health issues caused by stress and worry. I learned quickly to say NO. I want to be around for my children (and hopefully lots of grandchildren lol). You have to put you first. You'll feel bad and maybe guilty for putting yourself first, but it's necessary. Tell everyone there are no exceptions, those who don't keep in touch weren't true friends to begin with.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 8:10 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

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