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Maybe you all can help with this....

Okay I was going through and reading the questions on here and noticed a good amount of women who are of the Christian faith. I am an atheist who has immense respect for the beliefs of others. My problem though is that I have a friend who is constantly pushing her beliefs onto me. She used to watch my daughter but she told my daughter that God put her daughter in her stomach (we actually taught our daughter it was the uterus). This confused my daughter as I do not teach these things, because she wanted to know why God did something like this. It's gotten to the point where I feel disrespected. Now Christian mommies, I know most of you all respect the views of others...What is the nicest way to tell her to stop? I have tried to just say please stop and it has gotten a deaf ear.

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OneToughMami

Asked by OneToughMami at 3:27 AM on Dec. 1, 2008 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 17 (3,406 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • I am a Christian, and I have friends of many different faiths. I think what I would do is this - try talking to her one more time, in a calm manner, and say something like "I absolutely respect your faith, and I respect our friendship. I know how insulting it would be to you, and how disrespectful to your faith, for me to attack it or try to change your mind about what you believe. I hope you can give me the same respect, and not disrespect what I believe, even if you don't agree. Because, after all, both your God and the constitution have given us all free will to believe what we choose, so who are we to try to take that away?

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:34 AM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • Also, explain that while you know she didn't mean it this way, but when she talks to your small child about God, against your views, that is the same, to you, as if some other person were to tell her child that God was a lovely fairy tale - it would be confusing to her child and would end up either undermining what she was trying to teach her child, or cause the child to not believe or trust the person who told them this, or both, and while you're sure that she doesn't mean it, this is the same thing that's happening with your child.

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:34 AM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • One other thing, you might want to point out to her that, when people are overzealous in their faith and are disrespectful of others' views, whether they agree with them or not, it doesn't help her cause, so to speak. In fact, it often sends the very opposite message, resulting in people being even more turned off to receiving the blessed message of Christianity. So, in essence, every time she uses tactics like that, she's actually doing more of the Devils work than God's... Because, after all, wouldn't she be a better example to you, and, over time, to your daughter, by simply living her faith, not pushing it (and, by pushing it, pushing you out of her life, where you can't see God in action in her life) ;-)
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:38 AM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • please don't take my last post as that she should be trying to use sneaky methods of converting you or anything like that - just that she needs to learn the adage you catch more flies with honey. I've found that I have more people ask me about my faith, and, over time, come to believe in God as well, because I DON'T push it. I am FAR from perfect, but I admit my flaws, and I try to live my life the way my faith says, and that goes a LOT farther than trying to undermine someone else's faith (and, to me, being Atheist is a faith a faith that there is no God - just like the song line that says if you choose to not decide, you still have made a choice... )
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:42 AM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • I like the suggestions above, however, you may have to simply consider that she is NOT going to stop. At this point, is the friendship worth it, or can it be reworked? I don't know how old your daughter is, but maybe this would be a good way to explain to her about different belief systems and encourage your daughter to ask you about anything that concerns or bothers her. I think no matter what faith we are, our kids are going to hear something that is different than what we teach and we can use it as a teaching tool.
    KnoxvilleDoula

    Answer by KnoxvilleDoula at 3:43 AM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • Ugh. Sorry you're having to deal with that. Maybe if you can talk to her and leave the Christianity thing out of it as a whole. No one but you has the right to be telling your daughter where babies come from no matter if it has to do with religion or not...especially if you have already asked her not to. I'd be telling her that she doesn't have to agree with what you teach your child but she darn well better respect it or else maybe she doesn't need to babysit anymore!
    aurorabunny

    Answer by aurorabunny at 3:43 AM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • Oh she doesn't babysit. That privelege has been revoked.

    KnoxvilleDoula, my daughter is 5 so she is pretty aware of what goes on. She came home and said to me "Mommy is (name) married to God now?". I try to expose her to different religions but do not force her to believe anything she doesn't want to. She's fascinating in everything. It was just hard for her to understand the concept of God putting a child inside someone oppose to mommy and daddy.

    Sailorwifenmom...I am so going to try doing some of that. Maybe she will stop.

    Otherwise I suppose this friendship wasn't meant to last :-( We've known each other since 6th and 7th grade and she's known that I as well as my entire family are non-believers.
    OneToughMami

    Answer by OneToughMami at 3:50 AM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • Answered at 3:43 AM on Dec. 1, 2008 by: aurorabunny
    Ugh. Sorry you're having to deal with that. Maybe if you can talk to her and leave the Christianity thing out of it as a whole. No one but you has the right to be telling your daughter where babies come from no matter if it has to do with religion or not...especially if you have already asked her not to. I'd be telling her that she doesn't have to agree with what you teach your child but she darn well better respect it or else maybe she doesn't need to babysit anymore!


    Yeah I am not for anyone but me and my husband telling our daughter where babies come from...God putting babies in stomachs or Mommy and Daddies using baby batter (my mom told my sister this)
    OneToughMami

    Answer by OneToughMami at 3:52 AM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • lol, what I told my dd the first time she asked - she was about 2 1/2, and, mind you, it was our own kid - she was asking about all my pg friends, and wanted to know how the babies get there... I told her that sometimes when a grownup man and woman love each other very much, they want to be a mommy and daddy, so God lets them make a baby together. She then asked how. I told her that Daddy's had special stuff that goes into the Mommies, and that helps the Mommy to make a baby. She asked what stuff. I told her DNA and chromosomes. She thought that was funny and that was the end of it until she was about 7, and I explained what tampons were for (she found some and was curious...) Now, she's 14 and completely aware of the whole process lol....
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 4:00 AM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • I do hope your friend stops, because otherwise, frankly, as sad as it would be, she isn't being a very good friend, disrespecting you and your beliefs, and overstepping her boundaries with your family.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 4:01 AM on Dec. 1, 2008

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