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I am terrified of loosing my child...

My neighbor's child recently died from this fluke genetic disorder (and the mom is a really good pediatrician, so you know that if ANYTHING could have been done to save her little boy, she would have had it done).

Ever since he was born I've been afraid of my son dying, and now seeing this happen to someone I know, it's become so much more frightening. If anything happened to my baby boy, I don't know if I could go on. And he's our only kid so if he died I wouldn't even have anyother child to focus on to help me get through it. Luckily my son is perfectly healthy, so this isn't based on anything real.

Is this normal? I know I should just focus on the good that is here and now, but I keep thinking about it. Does anyone else have these kinds of fears? How do you deal?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:46 PM on Apr. 10, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I had these fears when my daughter was an infant, it was part of my postpartum and eventually I went into therapy and took a low dose of an antidepressant.
    LoveBuggsMommie

    Answer by LoveBuggsMommie at 8:53 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • I think we all worry about it to an extent but thats why we protect our kids the way we do. We take care of them when theyre not feeling well. We keep them out of harms way as much as possible. But some things, like your neighbor's son's disorder are inexplicable and cant be avoided. Just love your kids, take care of them the best you can and try not to stress about it.
    Aqua_Jen

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 8:54 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Personally, I think this is normal. I do it too, but not to the point of obsession. When I start thinking like that about DD (or DH, cuz he's in the Army), I force myself to NOT think about it. I remind myself how healthy DD is, or that DH isn't deployed at the moment, and remind myself they're here right now. If you dwell on things that COULD happen, you'll miss what IS happening.
    JustCantWait88

    Answer by JustCantWait88 at 8:57 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • If ANYTHING happened to my kids I'd go ballistic. I know what and how you're feeling. I'm there. My kids are 7 and 4, but it doesn't really change. It also doesn't help that I have a very vivid imagination and tend to have morbid thoughts. When I find myself going down that road I consciously stop my thoughts in their tracks and start thinking of something else.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 8:59 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Something like that could affect you pretty badly, and it sounds like it has. I think it's normal it worry about it, but if it affected you so much that it is going to become a phobia then you might want to talk to a counselor or therapist.
    Namaste17

    Answer by Namaste17 at 9:00 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • I totally get it...awhile back, my friend found out her son was being abused at his dads and I thought, "OMFG, I don't know what I would do if that was my child going through that.". Well turns out, my child IS going through that. The injuries were just never serious enough for me to question...now they are, and I'm about to have a war on my hands with her dad and his family. You never think you can deal with it, until it happens. I just try to focus on the moment, and at the moment, she is happy. I've always been terrified of something happening to her. But something DID happen to her, and she is seemingly okay, and I'm doing everything I can to help her recover. What I'm saying is, it's totally normal. And you think you can't handle it..but in the event something does happen, your stronger than you think, because your child needs you to be. You find strength in them that you never knew you had. Focus on the moment.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:54 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • LOL 3Happy, your comment is NOT HELPFUL!!! :) I'm very aware of all the random dangers out there - I've known 5 people killed by drunk drivers and a handful of others killed by cancer or something else. But how do we moms deal with these fears without becoming some closeted, neurotic, overprotective parent?

    Maybe I'm just freaking out a bit because my neighbor's child only recently died...
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:00 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • I think all mothers fear the death of their own child. But if he would die that would be out of your hands. God only knows when it is your time.You could die before him.
    Glo402813

    Answer by Glo402813 at 9:08 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Since I had my DD 18 months ago, I know 3 babies who have passed away. It really hit home & affected my ALREADY post-partum depression. I thought about WHAT IF every single day. I could barely enjoy myself having her because I needed to have everything planned out so that I could protect her no matter what came our way. I would look at her & it'd look like she wasn't breathing & I would actually feel like she passed away. I'd cry, I had a pit in my stomach & at that moment I wanted to die because I felt like I no longer had her. Of course I'd panic & wake her up & she'd be fine! After 7 months of hiding these feelings (atleast I thought I was. Everyone noticed them), I went to therapy & it was the best thing that I did for myself & my DD. I still go once a week, i'm on anti-depressants & I feel great. I can now enjoy my little girl the way I'm supposed too.

    If you need to talk, I'm here!
    Marix3

    Answer by Marix3 at 9:12 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • My kids are all older and yes, I think about that too. It's my biggest fear in life,(or loosing my DH) the only thing you can do, is make sure they know how much you love them, and don't let it take over your life. Life is so precious, so enjoy it.
    mrsvixen

    Answer by mrsvixen at 10:42 PM on Apr. 10, 2011