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me and my ex have been seperated 6 years. at first we did shared parenting and split the week in half.. then when he had to move on his own and get a job like a big boy he text me and was like hey i cant afford daycare so i cant do shared parenting i just want him everyother weekend.. i was upset but that he could so that to our son who was 6 at the time but so excited that i got more days with him.. well the problem is now when he goes alot of times when he comes home he cries cuz he wanted to stay longer.. during the time i have him he never even mentions his dad barely.. hes 8 now what can i do to make him understand that his dad chose it to be this way because somehow its all backfiring on me..


Asked by kimsmith22 at 9:05 PM on Apr. 10, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 18 (5,048 Credits)
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Answers (2)
  • I know it's hard because i was in your little boy's position when i was young. But telling him that his dad chose it this way will only make him feel unwanted or hurt. The best i can say is to tell him perhaps that it is a neutral source that is causing the problems w/o really lying to him. Something to the effect that "Daddy works a whole lot" might do the trick? I know you don't want to be the bad guy and probably don't want to lie to him but he will feel terrible if you explain it in its actual terms. Maybe if you and his father still are on amicable terms, perhaps having them email each other or write letters? Keeping the connection during the week/s might also ease the tension if he knows he can look forward to writing to his father.

    Answer by bauerlove at 9:14 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Oh thats hard. My kids cry because they dont want to go to daddys. You have to make sure not to place a whole lot of blame on your ex bc it may end up looking like youre bashing him, and you dont want to do that to your son. Maybe tell your ex what goes on and see if maybe he can take him some evenings for a couple hours just for dinner time or something ?

    Answer by k.raine at 9:16 PM on Apr. 10, 2011