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Do you ever feel guilty for not giving birth the all natural way?

I had a very long labor. I made is 15 hours with nothing and then I gave into the pain and asked for the epidural. I was also under a lot of stress because my husband was deployed. My friend was with me for the whole labor process, but she had not had an all natural birth, and though she did not push me to get an epidural she did not help talk me out of it either. Now I wish I had stuck it out and just done it! I feel sick about how weak I was. Does anyone else feel guilty for taking the easy way out?


Asked by Anon344 at 2:04 AM on Apr. 11, 2011 in General Parenting

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Answers (14)
  • Anon344:

    You *did* miss out on Something~ but you replaced it with Something else. This is your birth story.
    It might not be what you'd originally planned, but that is how almost ALL birth stories go.
    You will mourn loss, mourn giving up your Ideal. There is often a lot of grief surrounding birth, unfortunately.
    We have to process that loss and continue to Mother our babies...
    This is among the MANY life lessons we endure on this intense path.
    If you don't like it, learn how to make changes in the future. AND know that the next path will hold other Adventures for you!

    Take care!


    Answer by doulala at 11:07 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Don't feel bad~ You weren't just jumping into a medicated labor willy-nilly !
    You did what you could and also did what you needed to in the moment.

    In the future you can prepare more and remember where you needed more help.


    Answer by doulala at 2:23 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • boobarandbell:

    You said you "never intended to use natural childbirth...always intended on epidural"
    If you always wanted to use drugs then you probably were insufficiently prepared for labor coping.
    But honestly, what are labor meds?
    They are designed to avoid the pain-- to make it "easier." That is the point.
    The point of pain meds is to avoid the intensity. There are natural alternatives you can choose if you wanted to.
    Sorry you had hard times with your birth!
    Best wishes!

    Answer by doulala at 11:08 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I did not have an epidural for my kids but you should not feel guilty! You went 15 hours with medication, that's a long proud of yourself! A lot of women can't make it 15 minutes let alone 15 hours! If you choose to have another child you can try to do it naturally but please don't feel bad.

    Answer by GomezMami2908 at 2:06 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • not really, since i had to have c-sections

    Answer by shudson1976 at 2:07 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Nope. Doesn't matter how your get there as long as you have your baby! :)

    Answer by Chloesmom1126 at 2:10 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I had a shot or two of pain meds with each labor (couldn't get an epidural due to herniated discs in my back)... I don't feel guilty for having a little bit of relief. The meds didn't mess with the children, and it allowed me to not be in too much pain.

    Answer by laird6372 at 2:15 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I do not feel guilty. My first daughter was an emergency c-section after 9 days in the hospital. My second child was c-section too. Even through the c-sections were not by choice, I would never, ever, want to give vaginal birth. Call me weak, not women enough, or anything you want, but I do not believe that women should have to suffer during labor. It should be a wonderful and beautiful momment. Not traumatizing. just my thoughts.

    Answer by alejandra559 at 2:16 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • I really don't see why youi should feel guilty. The important part is that you have a beautiful baby, not the way s/he arrived!

    Answer by winterglow at 5:43 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • ABSOLUTLEY NOT!!!! OMG that pain is so horrible I'd give my left arm for pain meds during labor. LOL! We live in a time where medical technology has progressed to the point where women no longer need to suffer that horrific pain so why not partake? We use washer machines instead of a board and a bucket, right! God bless the women who can do it - for they art more a woman than me. I loved my epidural and my LO came out without any reaction to the potossin or epidural meds.

    Answer by LisaNSienna at 7:57 AM on Apr. 11, 2011