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3 Bumps

Please no bashing i just want to see what you think

i met this guy we been together almost 3 years we have a 1 year old together,we was fine till i moved with him which is 3 hours from my home.....first year he hit on me till our baby was born then it stopped,well last year when our baby was 3 weeks old i found nakid pics on his phone from a girl from his school he says there jus pics,but there was nights he stayed out late an said he was out with friends drinking,well when i found the pics he said the girl tried to get him to leave me,he said he wouldnt do it an she got upset. i dunno what to think. how can i tell if he is cheating or did cheat with her we did stop having sex the last month or so when i was pregnant but he says it was cuz i was to far along...i cant stop thinking about it and its been a year since i found the pictures....please i need some advice or some one thats been where i am..

Answer Question
 
dezz0922

Asked by dezz0922 at 4:49 AM on Apr. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (68 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • it sounds a bit suspicious.. why would the girl try to get him to leave you if she was just "a girl from his school" ? they might have had something more going on and she got jealous of his relationship with you. you should never stay with a guy who beats you. you know you deserve better than to be treated like a punching bag...doesn't matter if he has not done it in a while or if it is a regular thing..
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 4:55 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • relationship started unhealthy, and it's probably going to continue that way, use your gut and go
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 4:58 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Ok, I'm trying to make sure I have this straight - you are living with a guy who used to hit you, but stopped - NOT when you got pg, but when the baby was born. He goes out drinking and partying with friends when you are in the final stages of being pg (and could be going into labor at any time) - saying you are too far along to have sex with, but apparently you aren't too far along for him to leave you alone while he parties (so, what, if you had gone into labor, was he going to stagger into delivery from the bar?).

    He has naked pictures of a woman he knows on his phone. (Sorry, but whether a person is ok with porn or not, these are NOT just pictures - this is a person that he knows personally - that is a BIG difference - yes, I think they were together and might still be.)

    Honey, you need to leave. I'm NOT bashing you, I'm bashing him. This is NOT good for you or your baby!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 4:58 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • cont

    You deserve SO much more than a man who hits you, abandons you during your pg to party, and cheats on you. And your little one deserves to grow up not thinking this is normal or ok to treat people this way or be treated this way. Things won't get better by staying with him. You aren't going to be able to make him see how much you love him, or how he should treat you better. Why should he change? After all, you're putting up with it... (I don't mean that mean - but I grew up in an abusive home, and I know the mindset.)

    You aren't going to find someone who treats you right while you're in this relationship, because a good man won't approach someone who's with someone, kwim? You need to get out of this situation and make a more healthy life for you and your baby, and be with someone who treats you like you deserve. Even being alone is better than this - you do NOT deserve to be treated like this!

    GL!!!!!!!!!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 5:02 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Iam so sorry for that poor baby she / he doesn't deserve a father like that and if he beats u up he will never stop unless u put it 2 a stop its easy for us a mothers to say leave him but that baby needs his/her daddy but. U will know when u had enough of him and is abuse and when you ready just move on because clearly he wants is bread butterd on both sides iam sorry darling I know I hurts being a mom a wife and a women in genaral stay strong
    clementhia

    Answer by clementhia at 5:06 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • For your childs sake. Move out. Leave him.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:30 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Wait...Were you saying that he actually hit you, or were you saying he hit ON you, as in approached you for sex?
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 7:43 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • It does sound like something is going on and I am not bashing you momma but I couldn't stay with a man who put his hands on me. I hope you find the peace you need with all of this.
    momto4girzls

    Answer by momto4girzls at 8:04 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • My ex and I were engaged and living together. He was drinking and beat me pretty bad. I kicked him out that night. There will always be another man. Protect your self and your child. I know its scary now, but it will get better.
    Nickcole23

    Answer by Nickcole23 at 8:56 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

  • Not bashing -- my 'advice' to you would be to kick his sorry ass to the curb. If it were me I would have left him the 1st time he hit during the pregnancy. A REAL man does NOT hit a lady who is pregnant with his child! As for the naked pictures and such-- it does sound very much like something could be going on.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 9:04 AM on Apr. 11, 2011

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